#don’t actually drink much anymore but y’know. cool bathrooms

[nyhne]

Tagged by @eunnui to post ten images that describe me w/o downloading anything /o/

Tagging @smileinthedark @puella-peanut @lithugraph @weenie-kun @lordsardine if ya want

[1kook]

commercial break ; NINE

this is part of my netflix & chill series!

SUMMARY “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?” WARNING angst with implied smut at the end!!, flashbacks, low self esteem, alcohol consumption, jk is (implied) a virgin in this, there’s a lil fondling by oc u know the usual  MISC they r soulmates <3, our queen doyeon returns, i tried to use symbolism👁 in the dialogue so yes everything drunk oc says has a meaning hehe RATING m bc alcohol WC 2.2k

NOTES i said once a long time ago that n&c couple were prolly at the same party once but didn't realize so hERE WE GO ! its not proofread bc um. yeah<3

Homecoming week. 

Jungkook doesn’t even think his university’s football team is good, but he had read somewhere that part of the college experience is obnoxiously supporting this team all four years. And well. Jungkook wants to fit in. Frankly, Jungkook feels a little dumb having accepted this invitation from Kim Taehyung from his first-year writing class. He’s only known the man a solid four weeks, probably won’t know him this well once Taehyung finds real friends, ones who suit his outgoing personality, and decides Jungkook is too boring, but Jungkook will make the best of it while he can because, again, he wants to fit in. Badly. It’ll be different this time, he had told himself while getting ready. You won’t be awkward anymore. You’ll make friends. 

And then it’s nearing midnight and Jungkook has spoken to a whopping two people at this party of over a hundred. Not including Taehyung, it’s down to one. Even that had only been to ask where the bathroom was. He feels severely out of place, like he’s both too large and too small to be in this area, to be at this party, so he shuffles into the kitchen when he hears them call for another match of beer pong. He’s actually pretty good at the game, has refined his skills at get togethers with his older cousins. But it’s not like anyone here wants to be Jungkook’s partner anyway. Or even knows who he is for that matter. 

Taehyung had bumped into him a little past ten, had had two girls clinging to his sides when he had greeted Jungkook. One of them had almost looked tempted, Jungkook wanted to believe, brushing her hand against his arm. But he didn’t act quick enough— what would he even have done? what did he even want? —and Taehyung disappeared with both girls soon after, leaving Jungkook by himself once more. 

The kitchen is empty, the drinks long since having migrated to the living area of this huge frat. With a defeated sigh, Jungkook sinks back against one of the counters, setting his lukewarm cup of beer down beside him. He’s buzzed, drank in a feeble attempt to ‘lose himself’ as all the movies claimed. But now all he can feel is a pounding headache threatening to consume him. He doesn’t even like drinking— why did he drink this much? 

He should go home. 

Events like this, parties like this— they weren’t meant for someone like Jungkook. He was too quiet, too shy to let loose like everyone else. He doesn’t do well in social situations, or at least not as well as his therapist had told him he would. He hesitates too much, never speaks when he needs to. Haerim from his freshman basics class had even said so. “You’re quiet, huh,” she had smiled, and when her notebook had touched his elbow, he flinched. She didn’t take it to heart. Just like Taehyung wouldn’t if he left right now. They know how he is. He doesn’t belong here. These types of parties were made for outgoing people, people who lived on the edge, people who weren’t trapped in their own thoughts all the time, people like—

Like the girl who stumbles through the doorway now. “Woooo,” she slurs, and then promptly faceplants into the dirty tile of the kitchen, the same tile littered with sticky footprints and random debris. He can’t even imagine what else is on the floor of a frat house mid-party. Jungkook flinches at the sound of her knee hitting the ground, before rushing over to help her up. 

She’s a giggling mess, eyes half shut by the time Jungkook gets her into a seated position. “Are you okay?” he flounders, hand on her shoulder when she wobbles again, nearly falls back down. 

“Just peachy,” she sings, flashing him a sloppy thumbs up. Her neck isn’t doing a particularly good job of holding her head up and when Jungkook places a hand on the back of her head, she leans into it, blissful smile on her face. She’s really pretty, it makes Jungkook’s cheeks burn when she aims it at him next. “Pucca loves Garu,” she lets him know, eyes finally fluttering open. “He’s a pretty boy.”

Jungkook blinks. He has no idea what you’re talking about. “Huh?” he stutters, glancing back at the bar stool by the counter instead. It’s probably infinitely times better than the sticky tile beneath your bare legs. “I’m gonna stand you up,” he tells you, taking your loud cackle as a sign that you’re okay with it. Jungkook’s been working out all summer, so you’re not heavy in the slightest, arms thrown around his shoulders while he slips his own around your back. Your proximity leaves him drowning in your scent. 

The giggles don’t subside when he sits you down, not even when he begins opening random cabinets in search of a glass to get you some water. He’s had his fair share of experiences looking after drunk people, so he has a pretty good idea of what to do now. However, your sudden bout of commentary certainly doesn’t make it easier. “Isn’t it, like, super cool how the sun and the moon are, like—“ a hiccup, Jungkook settles on tap water “tooootally different beings, but, like— they, like, both maintain the earth?” Your hand reaches for his forearm when he returns, gives him this little squeeze in your excitement. “Like— Like they both have to, like— work together? To keep it perfect, y’know?” 

Jungkook pushes the water into your hands. You’ve got this sparkly sheen to your eyes, the one that most people get after one too many drinks, but it’s accompanied by this childlike wonder that leaves Jungkook breathless when you meet his gaze. “Yeah,” he says quietly. You beam. It’s blinding. So blinding that Jungkook promptly looks away, nudging the cup in your hands. “You need to drink this.”

You frown. “Boooo, so boring,” you huff. It’s nothing Jungkook hasn’t heard before, but it is a little disheartening to hear it from a stranger. He stamps the feeling down, pursing his lips as he gives up on letting you drink yourself. The cup is swiped from your hand and Jungkook tasks himself with making you drink it instead. And of course, like all wasted young adults, you put up a fight. “Ew, what is that?” you spit. 

Jungkook sighs. “Water.” 

At his defeated tone, the exaggerated grimace slips off your face, replaced with a rather solemn expression instead. Jungkook tries to take advantage of it and pushes the cup against your lip again, but all he really accomplishes is sloshing it down the front of your dress. You don’t yelp, but he does. “I’m so sorry,” he panics, sliding the sleeve of his shirt down around his thumb to wipe your chin. 

You let him, head tilted curiously to the side. Jungkook tries to ignore your analytical gaze until: “you’re cute,” you announce, and abruptly send him into shock. 

He recoils, face a blazing mess. “I’m—“ he chokes, swallowing when you wipe your hand down your own chest, leave a glistening layer of water over your sternum and down between your breasts. 

“Cute,” you repeat, downing the glass he had been trying to coax into you like it’s nothing now. With it gone, you don’t waste any time, throwing your hands around his shoulders, fingers brushing through the hair at the base of his neck. You pull him close, so close in fact, that he ends up having to hold the back of your chair to keep from accidentally crushing you with his weight. “Your name, pretty boy?” 

He can’t think. You’re so drunk and smell so good and are just so pretty— his brain short circuits. “Um I’m, uh, Jeon J—“

“Jeon,” you repeat, silly smile back on your face. You’re not technically wrong, so he nods along with a blush high on his cheeks. “Well, Jeon,” you purr, but you’re still so drunk, eyelids fluttering in a rather funny way. “I think that, like— me and you? We’re like, totally destined,” you ramble, “you should, like, take my number! And maybe we can, like— Netflix and chill one of these days?”

Jungkook doesn’t even know what that means, and honestly, he doesn’t really hear you over the thundering of his own heart and the bass in the other room. “Um, but you’re really…” he stammers, leaning back but a finger loops around one of his curls and he gasps when you pull at it. “You’re drunk,” he rushes out, lower lip trembling when your nose knocks against his. 

A soft hum, the sound sending electricity down his spine when you cup his cheek. “But don’t you think I’m pretty?” you murmur, eyes flickering to his mouth. 

“Yes,“ he chokes out, “you’re a very, very pretty girl. But I really shouldn’t—“

“Hey,” you shush, tilting his head just the slightest. Jungkook has never had a girl touch him like this, has never even touched a girl before either, but, well. He really wants to kiss you. And that’s saying a lot considering Jungkook has never kissed anyone before. 

Despite how good it feels, he knows you’re still really drunk. It’s with a decisive huff that he pushes away, hands on your waist to keep you from touching up on him any further. You’re not that strong anyway. And then he’s met with the biggest pout he’s ever seen, an absolutely distraught look on your face. 

Something in him says you’ll cry if he doesn’t explain himself soon, so he launches into it right away. “You’re very pretty,” he says, almost laughing at the way your entire face lights up immediately. “But you’re very drunk.” You huff. “You deserve to be treated like a queen.” Mostly regurgitating something he heard in a motivational video. 

It works. Eventually, you stop being fussy in his arms and settle with a frown. “You’re too nice,” you grumble, forehead on the countertop. He doesn’t see how it’s much better than the floor but he lets you be. “You got a girlfriend, don’t you?” 

At that, Jungkook laughs. “No,” he reassures you, hesitates, and then gently pats your back. Jungkook actually feels you melt under his touch. That sultry look is gone, replaced with this rather tranquil look that he doesn’t quite understand. 

“That was pretty,” you murmur, but Jungkook doesn’t quite hear. 

“What was that?” he asks.

“I said your smile was pre—“

“There you are!” someone hollers from the kitchen doorway, the shrill tone of their voice making both you and Jungkook jump. When he turns around, he’s met with the sight of a rather tall girl angrily stomping your way, eyes a blazing fire, fists clenched by her side. Jungkook realizes only a second too late that she’s looking at him. “Get off of her, you sweaty city-owned dumpster,” she hisses, using the strength of three football players to push Jungkook away. “You make me sick—“

“Doyeonie,” you beam, launching yourself into the angry girl’s arms. Ah. The Help had arrived. 

Said angry girl (Doyeonie?) is still using every mash-up of words possible to degrade Jungkook as she hauls you into her arms, shooting daggers every step of the way. “I can’t believe you would try to take advantage of a poor girl when she’s this drunk,” she spits. 

“What?” Jungkook coughs, cheeks warm. “I wasn’t—“

“Tell it to Campus Safety when I report you, you wannabe, dollar store Rain.” Jungkook clutches his chest at the acidity of her tongue, surprised anyone could be so mean. 

All things considered, this was actually good. Someone who knew you had come to take you to safety, meaning Jungkook didn’t have to look after you anymore. When this Doyeonie turns around, he’s met with your smiley face smushed against her shoulder. 

(It’s weird. He’s a little sad to see you go.) 

“Bye, Jeon,” you giggle, hand brushing down his arm, squeezing his hand, before you’re abruptly yanked away. Jungkook manages one weak wave, cheeks lit ablaze once more when you send him a silly air kiss from the doorway, urging him to catch it. He does, and he feels really silly when he puts it in his pocket, but he can hear your laughter for a second more before he loses you. 

The last few minutes being so hectic, he decides to go home. Parties weren’t really his thing. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever go to one again. 

Until a few years later. 

“You’re, like, really pretty,” you slur, lips against his throat. Another invitation, this time, Taehyung’s birthday. His friend had practically begged him to come, knowing how Jungkook was. In the end, it had been you who had accepted on his behalf. 

“Baby, not here,” he laughs, hand on your shoulder when you try to shove your hand down his pants for the third time that night. 

Taehyung had been ecstatic to see Jungkook here. And then had quickly become annoyed when he caught the two of you making out in his storage closet an hour later. “Bro, don’t be that couple at parties,” he had groaned, locking the door behind him. 

Jungkook had laughed. “I wouldn’t know what ‘that couple’ is at parties,” he reminded him. 

Taehyung rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m sure your girlfriend can fill you in.”

Apparently not. You’ve been trying to kiss him for the past three minutes but keep missing because you’re so drunk. “Just one,” you beg, so pretty but so drunk. The fake lashes you’d worn today make you look like a doll, batting them his way until he’s giving in, slotting his lips against yours. You’re probably going to throw up in his bathroom when you get home, so he should make the best of your kisses now. Jungkook pushes that thought aside as he reaches a hand out to wipe at the sweat accumulating on your chest. There’s something weird about the gesture, like he’s done it before at another party. But that doesn’t make sense; he couldn't have— this is his first party with you. 

“We should, like, leave,” you whisper against his ear, fingers burying themselves in his hair; when you pull on a strand, he nearly moans. “Go home. Maybe netflix and—“ a hiccup that makes him smile “—chill?”

Jungkook kisses your temple. “Sounds good to me, pretty girl.”

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[rosiehunterwolf]

Face the Music

Prompts: Karaoke

Word Count: 5,572

Characters: Cole, Kai, and Jay

Timeline: Between seasons 9 and 10

Trigger Warnings: Brief Mentions of Toxic Parent and Eating Disorder

Summary: If you ask Cole, there are some things in life better left forgotten. Especially embarrassing experiences that you would prefer not to talk about. They certainly shouldn’t be used as blackmail or as entertainment for others, and everyone should just learn to move on. Although maybe his friends aren’t the only ones that need to move on. 

Link to read on Fanfiction.Net:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13904278/1/Face-the-Music

Cole burst onto the deck of the Bounty, swinging the door shut behind him. Zane looked up from the control panel, looking startled. “Cole?”

“Zane!” Cole ran over to him, gasping for breath. “Quick, what’s Kai’s cell phone password?”

Zane pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Don’t play coy with me, I know you have the passwords for everything programmed into your database! Now hurry, what is it!”

“I never denied that I did, but why would I tell you? That’s confidential information.” Glancing down at the cell phone, he asked, “Does Kai know you have his phone, Cole?”

“Uh… yeah, if it helps you sleep at night.”

Zane crossed his arms. “Cole…”

“Come on, Zane, help a friend out! It’s important!” “Cole, that is not my secret to tell. Unless it is an emergency, you don’t need to know.”

“But it is an emergency!”

“Oh really? Who’s in danger?”

“My pride,” he snapped. “C’mon, Zane, please, what do you want? I’ll do your dishes for a month! Or- or, uh, take patrol duties for the next three weeks. Hey, hey, what about cooking, you like that, right? I’ll buy you some new appliances!”

“Cole, you cannot bribe me-”

“Hey guuuuys,” Kai larked, popping his head through the door and sliding over to Cole. Before he could even react, the master of fire was plucking the phone out of his hands. “I’ll take that, thanks.”

“Give it back!”

“It’s my phone!”

“I didn’t give you permission to take that video!”

Kai batted his eyes innocently. “What video?”

Cole lunged for him. “I will kill you, spike head-”

“Gotta catch me first,” Kai shrilled, neatly ducking his arm and dashing back belowdeck, laughing maniacally.

“Thanks a lot, Zane. Who knows what he’ll do with that now?”

“I don’t understand. What is going on?”

Cole sighed slowly. “He’s got… a video. I need it to be deleted.”

“What kind of video?”

“Seriously Zane? Can’t you take a hint? I obviously don’t want to tell you.”

Zane just stared at him expectantly.

Cole rubbed his face in his hands. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “He still has the video from… from Laughy’s. With the Sons of Garmadon.”

Zane is smiling now, crossing his arms. “I don’t know why you are embarrassed to tell me, Cole. I was there, remember? I saw you sing-”

“Okay, okay, Zane, I get it! Just stop talking about it!”

“I don’t see why talking about it would be an issue-”

Cole lunged forward, pressing a hand over his mouth. “You don’t understand,” he hissed under his breath. “They’re everywhere. They’re obsessed with that video, and they’ve been dangling it over my head ever since we returned from the First Realm. They’re trying to blackmail me!”

“They?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not just Kai- Jay’s in on it too, the jerk. You think you know who your best friend is.”

“Cole, I think you’re overreacting, what could they possibly do with it? Everyone here already saw you sing, it’s fine.”

“You really think Lloyd, Nya and Pix have spared a second thought to think about me after everything they had going on here? I was hoping they had forgotten about it by now, but if Jay and Kai have their way-”

“I’m not going to help you steal Kai’s phone, Cole. If you need me for anything actually important, let me know.”

“This is important,” Cole yelled after him, but Zane was already gone.

Fine, he huffed. If no one is going to help me, I’ll do it myself.

---

“Hey Cole? Kai and Lloyd want me to play Fist-to-Face 3 with them, will you take patrol duty for me tonight?”

“Yeah?” Cole reclined in the kitchen chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “And why would I do that?”

“Oh, I dunno… perhaps because you wouldn’t want a certain… video to accidentally leak…” Jay waggled his phone teasingly in the air.

Cole stood up sharply. “You wouldn’t.”

“I dunno… would I? I guess we’ll find out.”

“Fine, fine, I’m going, I’m going,” Cole grumbled. “Want anything while I’m out?” “We’re almost out of Doritos. And can you get the strawberry Fanta?”

“Are you a heathen? Who drinks the strawberry?”

“It’s not for you,” Jay snapped. “And for your information, it tastes very nice.”

“Whatever. You at least gonna pay me for this, bozo?”

Jay slapped a twenty into his hand. “This is all I got on me. Buy yourself a little somethin’ with the change.”

Cole mock bowed. “Whatever you say, master.”

“Ah, come on, I’m not cruel, come join us when you get back.” As Cole walked out the door, he called after him, “I’ll save you some Bagel Bites!”

Cole rolled his eyes. He didn’t know how he got into situations like this.

He was really starting to hate that stupid video.

---

By the end of the week, which had been filled with similar scenarios, Cole had had it. I’m not going to take this slander anymore! They can’t just push me around like this, I’m the master of earth!

The monastery was buzzing with the chatter of his friends on the hot afternoon. They were all wearing swimsuits, and Lloyd opened the door, leaning out lazily as a wave of hot air wafted into the cool monastery.

“Stop standing there with the door open, nitwit, you’re letting all the hot air in,” Kai snapped, shoving him out the door, nearly sending him to the floor, before Zane caught him by the wrist with his usual lightning reflexes.

“Kai, there is no need to get physical.”

“Can it, Zane, I’m just playing around, right bud?” Kai slung his arm around Lloyd’s shoulder, ruffling his hair.

Lloyd shot him a glare. “Get off of me, you lump, I’m melting here. Are we going swimming or not?”

“Ouch, looks like someone skipped his coffee today. What’s wrong, baby boy, did I hurt your feewings?”

“You wanna get punched? ‘Cause I will not hesitate to punch you.”

“You wanna throw hands with me, bro? I’d prefer not to have a squished pancake as a brother, but if you say so.”

“As soon as I cool down a bit, you are toast.”

“You cool it, mister. Are you forgetting everything amazing I’ve ever done for you?”

“Don’t mind him,” Nya called to Kai, coming over to elbow Lloyd from the other side. “He gets grumpy when he’s hot.”

“I hate you both.”

Zane sighed. “I swear, it’s like the heat is melting their brains.”

Nya shrugged. “They must have like, low heat tolerance or something. Don’t ask me why they always get so loopy like this.”

“Hey, it’s like 100 degrees, don’t blame me if I’m a little uncomfortable!” Lloyd snapped, his words slurring slightly.

“Yeah, bud, even I think you’re starting to get to be a little much now. Come on, let’s get you in the water.”

As the team shuffled out the door, Jay turned back to face him. “Hey, Cole, aren’t you coming swimming with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute, just give me a sec.”

Jay shrugged, and Cole waited for a moment, until he heard the door click.

Finally! I thought they’d never leave.

Hurrying down the hallway, he popped his head into the bathroom, where Kai and Jay had just thrown their clothes into a pile on the floor when they had changed. Getting on his knees, he dug through it and pulled out Jay’s shorts, extracting his cell from it. Pulling a slip of paper out from his pocket, he quickly typed the numbers in, and…

The phone unlocked.

Cole broke into a grin, praising Jay’s inability to remember passwords and always writing them down somewhere where a very desperate earth ninja could find them.

He opened the camera app and deleted the video.

There. Halfway done.

Kai’s phone wasn’t in his pocket, so he snuck over to his room and found it charging on the nightstand. Biting his lip, he pulled out his phone and glanced at the camera footage he had captured the previous night.

It showed a bird’s eye view of the living room, and Kai was sitting on the couch, watching TV. As he reached for his phone, Cole zoomed in on the device and watched carefully as he typed in the code.

Okay. Cole repeated the same code on Kai’s phone.

Incorrect Passcode.

Cole felt panic flare inside him. What were the chances that Kai had changed his password in the one night since he’d filmed this?

“It didn’t work because I have one of those fingerprint ones, too.”

Cole whips around to see Kai standing in the doorway, Jay hovering behind him. “Jay told me you were lingering, and I just got a feeling, y’know? That you were up to something.”

Cole huffed, tossing him the phone. “Why won’t you just delete it, Kai? This has gone on for long enough.”

“I like the video, Cole. It puts a smile on my face on the… hard days.”

“Oh, spare me the pity card. I know plenty well that you have more than enough other ways to keep yourself entertained.”

“What about Jay?” Kai grabbed the lightning ninja by the shoulders, shaking him gently. “Think of your friend, Cole. He has no sense of entertainment, he needs something to keep him going.”

“Excuse me-”

“Oh please,” Cole snorted. “Stick Jay on Youtube and he’ll be entertained for hours. He gets distracted way too easily.”

“Oh come on, Cole, this is way better than Jay’s stupid cat videos-”

“I do not watch cat videos!”

“Don’t lie to me, zaptrap, you’re lame.”

“Dude, who’s side are you on?”

“Look guys, I don’t have time for this. Just delete the video, and we can be done with this whole thing.”

“No, that’s not how this is going to work. You’re going to go outside with the others, and forget this whole thing ever happened. Otherwise, this little video might end up on the internet.”

“What?” Cole shrieked. “You can’t do that, dude, it’s an invasion of my privacy!”

“Last time I checked, this was a video of Rocky Dangerbuff, not you. Is it you in this video, Cole?”

Cole felt his face heat as he scowled at them, and Kai and Jay burst into laughter.

Kai slapped a hand on his back. “If it makes you feel any better, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. You really think we’re dumb enough to keep the only copies of the video on our phones? You’d be searching for hours to delete all traces of it.”

Cole balked at him. “Seriously? How many copies did you make?”

Jay grinned. “You forgot this wasn’t a solo operation, dirtclod. I’m the tech guy around here. There’s no way you’ll be able to override my programming.”

Cole groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I hate you guys.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” Kai laughed. “C’mon, dude, it’s hot, let’s go swim.” Cole reluctantly followed them out the door, grumbling.

“This won’t go on forever, you guys. Sooner or later, I’m gonna find a way to stop you.”

Kai laughed. “We’ll see about that, Cole, we’ll see.”

---

“Are you sure this is really something I wanna be getting involved in?” The nindroid asked, her glowing green eyes scanning the monitor screen.

“It’ll be fine, Pix, I promise. They might be a little annoyed at first, but within a couple days, they’ll have completely moved on to something else to make fun of. All you have to do is get rid of one measly video for me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that, exactly. Jay went pretty deep with this program. But I think I’ve located the source material.”

“And?” Cole asked, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward. “Does that mean you can delete all the data?”

“Yes. Every known record of it developed into the Bounty’s database will be erased.”

“Do it, quick!”

Pixal turned to the computer again, and Cole held his breath as her fingers flew over the keys for a moment. Then, she pulled back.

“Is it done? Did you do it?”

“Yes. It’s gone.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Cole sighed, slouching against the wall. “I’m so glad that’s finally over. Pix, you’re a lifesaver.”

A small smile played on her lips. “I do what I can.”

“Well, you’ve just saved me a lot of trouble. I owe ya one.”

“We’ll see. Anyways, if we’re done here, I’m going to go help Zane work on those hull repairs to the Bounty.”

“Thanks, Pix.”

When he walked down to the kitchen for dinner that night, for the first time in weeks he didn’t feel a constant dread hanging over his head.

---

The relief didn’t last long.

It was only the evening of the next day when Kai came marching into his room, Jay on his heels. Cole glanced over at them nonchalantly from where he was laying across his bed, reading a Starfarer comic. “Can I help you?”

“You know what you did, stop acting so innocent.”

Cole grinned, stretching. “What can I say, bro, I outplayed you.”

“You could never,” Jay snorted. “You had help!”

“Hey, two against one was never a fair game. Let’s just say I was evening the odds a little bit.”

“Who helped you?” Kai hissed, pointing at him. “Spill, now!” “Sorry fellas, but I’ve sworn to secrecy. You’ll have to find your information elsewhere.”

“It has to be either Nya, Pixal, or Zane,” Jay insisted. “Nya’s the only one with the advanced enough technical skills to be able to override me, and Zane and Pixal are attached to the system, so they can get pretty much anything they want with enough computer skills.”

Kai rolled his eyes. “Great job, sparky, now we've eliminated it down to three out of the four possible suspects. What amazing deduction skills.”

“Hey, I don’t see you doing any better! And it’s actually three out of five. We know it’s not Master Wu, either.”

Both Kai and Cole raised an eyebrow at that.

“Jay, you’re joking. Master Wu. Helped Cole. Delete a blackmail video?”

Cole snorted. “Zaptrap, if Wu ever found out about what was going on, he’d give us a stern lecture, make us meditate for a few hours, then, probably like, stick us on patrol duty for the rest of the night or something.”

“Shut up! Look, it doesn’t matter, alright? If you just tell us who it is, we’ll leave you alone.”

“Fat chance.” Cole got up out of bed and strolled past them, towards the door. “You don’t have anything against me anymore. That blackmail’s not gonna work anymore.”

“Who told you that?”

Cole stopped, turning towards Kai slowly. “What?”

“Who told you we didn’t have access to the video anymore?”

Cole gaped, glancing back and forth between Kai and Jay. “What!? That’s impossible, she-” he bit his lip sharply, cursing himself. “I mean… we deleted all copies of the video. How could you still have it?”

“Aha!” Jay gasped, pointing at him. “Did you hear that? He said she! Which means we’ve narrowed it down to Pixal or Nya!”

Cole ignored him, narrowing his eyes at Kai. “You’re bluffing. You don’t have the video.”

“Oh yeah? Jay, you still have it?”

The blue ninja stuck a hand into his pocket, and, pulling it out, flashed a small blue object between his fingers. Cole looked closer, and felt his stomach drop as he recognized what it was- a flash drive.

“Yep, it’s all in here! Even the most advanced computer codes will do nothing to reach our backup. Looks like you’ve run out of luck again, Cole.”

“Are you kidding me? This is impossible!”

“Come on, Cole- all we want to do is have a little fun with it. Let us keep the video, and we’ll leave you alone.”

“And if I try to get rid of it again?”

“Oh, I dunno, maybe it could find its way… onto social media.”

Cole nearly choked. “Kai! You wouldn’t!”

“Keep your nose out of it, and I won’t! C’mon, Jay, we’re done here.”

Cole flopped back down onto his bed. Social media. Kai couldn’t put the video on the internet. It would be all over the city by morning.

He had said he wouldn’t do it if Cole stopped trying to get rid of the video, but Cole didn’t trust that one bit. Now that the idea was planted in his head, Cole was afraid he could do it at any time.

There was no question about it. He had to destroy that flash drive.

---

Kai and Jay were out on the last evening patrol.

This was the time.

Glancing down the hallway to make sure no one was there, he eased open the door to Kai’s room and slipped inside.

He was fairly certain they would’ve kept the flash drive in Kai’s room, specifically to throw him off after he had seen Jay holding it earlier. Also, Kai’s room, while still a mess, wasn’t as bad as Jay’s, so Cole much preferred to search his, anyways.

But it was still going to be more difficult than he had hoped, he realized with a groan as he glanced around the room.

Kai’s bed had a small stack of comic books and magazines strewn across it, with more on the nightstand and even a few on the floor. His laundry had been mostly shoved into a corner, but a few lone shirts and socks had been left randomly. Most of his stuff appeared to be in bins that had been stuffed under the bed and in the corners, but there appeared to be no order to what was in them, just a hag-tag of random junk, save for one crate in the corner which was full to the brim with various weapons, leaving several of them spilling out just asking for a sliced toe in the morning.

The worst was the dresser, though- there were several hair products lined up, even though Cole knew he already had more than enough in the bathroom, a handful of letters, only a couple of them opened, some more comics, a couple empty cups, and enough earrings and other jewelry to last him a lifetime. Cole never understood why he needed so many. Sure, Kai had a ton of piercings, more than the rest of them combined, but Cole swore he had never seen him even wear half of these. Kai had almost as much jewelry, (or, as he liked to call it, “bling”) as he did hair products, which was really saying something.

Sighing, Cole walked over to search through one of the bins that looked like it may have had the techy stuff in it- or at least, the somewhat mechanical stuff- maybe- or, actually, not really, he had absolutely no idea what kind of system Kai had going on here.

Reaching in, he pulled out a tablet, a flashlight, a spare video game controller, a baseball cap, a worn stuffed dragon, a barrette that he was pretty sure belonged to Skylor- Cole blushed at that one, shoving the box away. These things were Kai’s. There could likely be things in here he didn’t want Cole to see.

He wasn’t trying to snoop, though- all he wanted to do was find the flash drive, and leave.

Turning away, Cole began to sift through another bin. A sword- small and uneven, but fairly solid- this one wrapped away with much more care than the others- had a label scribbled on that read “Kai’s first sword.” A photograph, ripped down the middle, the remaining side with a very young Kai hugging an even younger Nya, and a ripped shawl stained with blood that had never come out-

Cole jumped back. Okay, so maybe there was some sort of order to these boxes. And that one was none of his business. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to look any further, anyway. He didn’t doubt that Kai and Nya had been reserved about their lives before meeting them for a reason.

Cole was beginning to feel guilt weight down on his chest already, cold and heavy. He shouldn’t have seen that. He shouldn’t have seen any of this. He was blatantly disrespecting one of his closest friend’s privacy just to delete some stupid video he was embarrassed about.

I should go.

As he sped towards the door, he tripped over something and fell to the ground with a thump. Turning back, he saw it was a book that he had set aside while pulling things out of the bin, having spilled open after he tripped on it, allowing him to see that it wasn’t a book at all, but a photo album.

It was open to a page where Cole had his arm slung around a very grumpy-looking Kai, ruffling his hair, with Jay and Lloyd bent over laughing in the background. It was followed by a bunch of pictures of Kai with the worst bed hair Cole had ever seen- desperately reaching towards the camera, presumably to strangle whoever was snapping photos. Occasionally, one of the other ninja would pop in, holding him back for the photographer, or posing goofily next to the groggy fire ninja.

Cole felt a grin spread over his face. He remembered that day, when Kai had stayed up so late playing video games that he had forgotten about his hair in the morning- and the whole team had been more than eager to take advantage of the one time the fire ninja wasn’t looking so attractive. Kai had threatened to murder them in their sleep, but he had been laughing through it all, too.

That’s the same thing happening here, Cole realized. I’m being a baby about this. They’re just playing around with me. Like I haven’t done the same to them a thousand times.

Cole neatly closed the book and slid it back into a bin, leaving the room with his heart feeling significantly lighter.

It hadn’t been a moment too soon, either, as when he was walking down the hallway, he passed Kai and Jay returning from patrol.

“Everything okay, Cole?” “I’m fine,” he said quickly, too quickly. Luckily, Jay didn’t seem to notice. Kai raised his eyebrow slightly but didn’t press the issue. “Whatcha’ up to?”

“Just heading to bed.”

“Sweet dreams, little glow worm.”

Jay burst into snickers, and Kai grinned wickedly. Cole put his face in his hands, and brushed past them. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t quite as over this as he thought.

---

The next morning, he was awoken by a knock on his bedroom door. Pulling on a tank top, he opened the door to find Zane standing there.

“What’s up?”

The nindroid had an apologetic look on his face, holding up his cell phone. “Have you checked social media yet?”

“No, why?”

“Kai posted your karaoke video.”

“He what?!” Cole shrieked, ripping the phone out of his hand. There, right under Kai’s grinning profile picture, was the video of him singing at Laughy’s.

“That dumbass,” Cole cried, flopping back onto his bed. “Do you know how bad this is? And it’s not just any old social media account, it’s Kai’s. The guy has like, seven million followers on Ninjagram, and almost as many on Chirp and ChatSnap. This will ruin me.”

“I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t think he would do this.”

“I didn’t either. He promised he wouldn’t, as long as I didn’t try to delete the data!”

“...Didn’t you, though?”

Cole glowered at him. “Well, maybe, technically, I did, but he didn’t catch me! How would he know?”

“Cole, what kind of ninja headquarters would this be if we didn’t have security cameras?”

“Shit! Why would he be checking that? Oh, I’m never going to forgive him for this.”

“Cole, forgive me, but I think you’re overreacting a little. Sure, it’ll probably get a few laughs, but in a couple hours, everyone will have moved onto the next thing. You’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that! I’m not just like some random cat video, I’m a famous ninja! Pretty much everyone knows about me, they’re going to linger on this for a while, trust me.”

“Cole,” Zane said patiently, amusement sparkling in his voice. “I think you’ll survive. Come have some breakfast, that always makes you feel a little better.”

Cole opened his mouth to argue, but Zane was already walking out of the room, so Cole reluctantly followed.

Cole sat down at the table, glaring down into his lap, as Zane slipped him a plate of waffles. He couldn’t even make it all the way through his meal before Kai and Jay inevitably showed up.

“Hey Cole,” Kai smiled, “wonderful morning, isn’t it?”

“You shut your dumb mouth,” Cole snapped. “I don’t even want to look at you.”

“Woah, someone’s feisty.”

“I saw what you did! I can’t believe you did that.”

“I can’t believe you went through my stuff,” Kai barked back, and, despite himself, Cole felt himself flinch. “I was just upholding my side of the agreement.”

“Hey, Cole,” Jay interjected. “Look on the bright side. You’re practically famous! The video already has five million views!”

“I’m already famous, you moron, which, in this situation, makes it even worse.”

Jay blinked, obviously not expecting the hostility of his response. “Cole, chill, it’s just a-”

“Hey guys!” Cole looked up to see Lloyd, Nya, and Pixal walking in. Lloyd grinned as he caught sight of Cole’s plate. “Aww, Zane, you made waffles? Did you buy-”

“Yes, Lloyd, there is plenty of whip cream.”

“I’m just checking! It wouldn’t be the first time I was a few minutes late and some hogs ate all the whip cream.” He shot a glare at Jay, who shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ya snooze, ya lose, green machine. It’s not my fault you have no sense of timing.”

“I have plenty of sense of timing! I’m just…”

“Easily distracted,” Nya chimed in.

“Am not! You were just as distracted as I was!” “You’re the one who showed it to me just as we were trying to go to breakfast!” “Well, you didn’t have to watch it, you could’ve just walked away!”

“How could I not? That one’s a keeper-”

“What are you two on about?” Kai laughed.

“There’s this video blowing up on the internet-” Pixal began.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cole groaned. He glared at Kai. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve gotten them-” he pointed an accusatory finger at Lloyd and Nya- “laughing at it too.”

“More like them and the rest of Ninjago-”

“Seriously? I can’t with you,” Cole fumed, then promptly spun around and stormed off to his bedroom, locking the door. He flopped onto his bed face first and yelled into his pillow.

He had wanted to laugh this whole thing off. He really had. But how was he expected to be chill when it was all over the internet?

Part of him was just angry with himself, though. Why did he let this rile him up so much? Why was he so upset? Zane was right, it was just another random video, wasn’t it?

Why was it the end of the world if people saw him sing?

---

“Back straighter, Cole.”

Cole flinched at the hit before it came, and the man rolled his eyes. “How do you expect to ever perform well if you can’t even have good posture?”

“I’m trying dad, but I’m tired. We’ve been doing this for hours. Can I go have lunch now?”

“It’s not time for that yet, Cole. First, we need to work on this piece more. Now, start again, from measure twenty-one.

He shuffled through the pages of music, and as he began to sing, all he could imagine was that stern face peering down at him, and all of a sudden his voice was coming out wobbly.

“Tone shape, Cole! You need to keep a consistent tone. Don’t let it sound wavery and messy.”

Cole’s stomach growled loudly, and he flinched at the look on his father’s face. “Please, dad, I’ll be able to concentrate more if I’ve eaten.”

“Fifteen minutes,” his father snapped. “Then right back to work.”

Cole remembered running to the kitchen, worried there wouldn’t be enough time, and eating as much food as he could manage. But it had been too much, his father would be angry with him, what was he going to do-

He had thrown most of it up in the bathroom later that night.

“Cole, you need to try harder. Singing and dancing of just “average” quality aren’t going to cut it when you become part of the next generation of the Royal Blacksmiths.”

“But dad, I don’t want to be a Royal Blacksmith. I don’t even like to sing.”

“Nonsense! This is a family legacy, boy! Do you wish to break such noble tradition just because you weren’t willing to work hard enough?”

“...No, dad.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, back to work.”

---

A knock. “Hey, Cole, can I come in?”

Cole pulled his face out of the pillow, frantic to find it wet. He quickly wiped at his eyes before getting to his feet and trodding to the door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. Kai stood there.

Great.

“What do you want?”

To his surprise, the red ninja flinched. “Can we talk?”

Cole turned and laid across his bed. “What’s there to talk about?”

Kai took a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from Cole. “Are you… are you actually angry about this? Like, for real? I thought we were joking around.”

Cole didn’t answer, merely grunting into his pillow.

Kai hesitantly scooted a little closer. “I’m sorry. I would’ve stopped if I knew it was making you so uncomfortable. I really wish you had said something about it.”

Cole shrugged. “Well, I didn’t.”

“I’ll take it down, if you want.”

“What?”

“Like, I know it’s too late now,” he said hurriedly, “and that a bunch of people have already seen it, that I’m not fixing my mistake by doing this, but- I can take the video offline now, so at least no one else sees it.”

Cole was about to thank him, when a sudden urge flowed over him. “Y’know what,” he said, sitting up, “No.”

“Huh?” “Don’t bother,” Cole told him. “It’s no big deal. It’s just some stupid video.”

“I thought you were upset.”

“I was. And still am, a little, if I’m being honest. But I’m tired of spending so much time worrying about what others think of me. It’s exhausting, and no fun. It’s time I started thinking about how I view myself.”

“Are you sure? Because I know you hate singing-”

“I don’t, though. I used to like it.”

“What happened?”

Cole shrugged halfheartedly. “Let’s just say… my dad didn’t make the right decisions. Pushed me too hard to be something I wasn’t. Kind of hard to enjoy singing with him barking over my shoulder about it every spare second. Basically sucked all the joy out of it.”

Kai swung his feet back and forth. “That sounds rough. I wonder if my dad would’ve been anything like that, if he… if he’d stayed.”

“You were forced, in a way, too. Forced to grow up too quickly, to raise your sister on your own.”

“Yeah, I guess I was.” He shot him a small grin, although Cole could tell it was forced. “We’re alike in that way.”

“I wish we weren't,” Cole sighed. “No one deserves to go through that.”

Kai laughed dryly. “I learned a long time ago that life’s never been fair.”

“Have you talked to your dad at all, recently?”

“...Not really. I mean, apart from letting him know we were alive and stuff… after the First Realm.”

“Maybe you should reach out to him. Before it’s too late.”

“I know, I know… but I’m not really sure if I want to. I don’t know if that makes me sound like an awful person, but… he was never there for me. They were never there. I know it wasn’t their fault, but… it still stings. Those years, before I came here, were some of the hardest of my life. And I was just a kid! How was I… how was I supposed to…”

“It’s okay,” Cole put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “I’m not sure if I want to forgive my father, either.”

“I wouldn’t blame you. What kind of person treats their kid like that? Judges them so harshly? Oh gosh, why didn’t you say something, Cole, I’m really sorry about that video.”

“I told you, it’s fine. You guys aren’t my father. I know you won’t judge me for my quirks. And, if you want to laugh at me, if the people of Ninjago want to laugh at me, that’s fine. So I’m weird. So I sing stupid songs about glow worms and sing out of key and put on really, really bad disguises. You can tease me all you want, but really, you love me for it, and I’m done doubting that. That’s what true family does.”

Kai smiled sadly at him. “I’m sorry that you didn’t find that out sooner, Cole. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve a family who will treat you like one.”

Cole smiled, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “I already have one.”

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 4]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; masturbation, usage of toys, dirty talkin’, a bit of a filler chapter after last weeks hehe🍒 as always, thank you again for your continued support for cherry bomb 🥺💕 I'm actually not sure if next week’s chapter will go up on time due to my work schedule for next week but I'll be sure to keep y’all updated! if anything it’ll probably go up on saturday instead of friday... 😭😭 But anyway, have a good weekend yall! 💕💕💕 stay hydrated!! 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - ?

The weekend ends quicker than Seungcheol even notices and while he wakes up Monday morning already thinking about you and your show later in the evening; his face falters when he reads the message on your cam homepage.

‘Sorry everyone :( I think I caught a cold so I won’t be doing a show tonight… I promise I’ll make it up to you on Friday! In the meantime, I’ve uploaded some new pics in our members only room~ I hope it’ll tide you all over ‘til then! xx Cherry 🍒 ’

His first reaction is to immediately panic; reaching for his phone and texting you to get as much rest and sleep as possible. He makes a mental note to check in with you again later, finding that he’s already running late to get to work when he gets out of bed.

“Hey! Seungcheol-hyung!”

The said male turns around, placing the set of roller skates on the ground. “Yeah, what’s up?”

Jeongguk sits next to him on the wooden bench, legs stretched out as he passes Seungcheol an energy drink. “Nothin’, just wanted to say thanks for coming over on Saturday! We should try to do that again, except maybe we can go out for drinks or something? We can give it the good ‘ol college try, maybe bring home a girl, if you know what I mean~” Jeongguk wiggles his eyebrows at Seungcheol who rolls his eyes.

“Uh, I’m down for the drinking part but I think I’ll have to pass on the hookups.”

“Really? Why? Are you dating someone and you haven’t told me?”

Seungcheol thanks the gods that the roller rink is dimmed; neon lights and disco balls the only things keeping the entire place dimly lit when he blushes a deep crimson, face hot as he avoids the younger male’s gaze. “Nah, it’s just, I--I don’t think that’s really for me. I’m more of a, uh, relationship type of guy, y’know?” Also, I’m devoting my time and energy to someone already who isn’t really my girlfriend.

“Mm, makes sense!”

Jeongguk keeps Seungcheol company even on his break, the two chatting about various topics before he lets Seungcheol know his break is almost over.

“Hey, wait! Before you go…” Seungcheol is nervous for some reason, fingers gripping the suede of the rollerskate’s boot as he avoids eye contact again. “Um, this is gonna sound really weird but… Who’s ‘j__min’? I feel like I’ve seen that username before and it’s, uh, I’m just curious how you know them? Sorry if that’s weird, I just--I’ve been seeing them around pretty often.”

“Oh, that’s Jimin-hyung. He’s a friend of mine that games with me sometimes! I’ve never really met the dude in person before, but he seems nice.” Jeongguk nods, staring off into space. “He seems really busy all the time too. And he’s super active on social media, that’s probably where you’ve seen him.”

Seungcheol nods; the guy didn’t seem like any sort of immediate threat so he logs the information mentally for now. He’d just have to do some internet sleuthing himself when he got home.

“Oh, cool, okay! Thanks ‘Guk!” 

Seungcheol groans after the seventh pair of skates he’s cleaned, standing up to stretch and reach for his phone in his pocket. He checks the notifications, noting that you hadn’t texted back or read his messages yet.

A frown paints his features knowing that you were sick, but he makes another mental note to finally buy you that sybian now that his most recent paycheck had come in with it’s overtime bonuses. There were only a few more days until Namjoon came back which meant his extra pays would be over, a sad sigh escaping his lips at the thought. 

The day gruels on; Mondays were always the slowest days for the roller rink which meant Seungcheol spent most of the time cleaning skates and bumming snacks from the concession stand usually. He tries to not pry deeper into Jeongguk’s friends but the curiosity eats him alive so he makes an effort to stay away from the younger male for the rest of the day, this time.

Instead, he spends the day hiding in the employee break room any time he gets; only leaving when Yoongi decides to hide in there himself.

Your head feels like it’s going to spin off of your shoulders once you sit up in bed. The sun sits low in the horizon from what you can see through your bedroom window; noting that it must’ve been the late afternoon already.

You’d woken up with chills, head fuzzy when you’d sat up earlier in the morning. Knowing that you were at least somewhat sick, you quickly wrote up a little memo on your homepage letting your viewers know that there wouldn’t be a show later in the evening. Afterwards, you had quickly downed medicine before curling up under your sheets and going back to sleep. You’d vaguely been aware of your phone ringing on the nightstand next to your bed, but you prioritized sleeping instead, knowing that you had to get better before the weekend came.

You groan once you ease yourself off of your bed, dragging your feet as you make your way to the bathroom in hopes of a warm bath to make yourself feel better.

It’s almost 5PM which means it’s almost time for Seungcheol to finally go home. He checks his phone one more time before he pockets the device, putting away the last few pairs of rollerskates before he starts making his way towards the backroom. 

“Hey! ‘Cheol-hyung, can you come over here!?” Jeongguk yells over the music, arms waving him down frantically before he clocks out.

Seungcheol walks over, noting an unknown male standing with him. “Yes? Did you need help?”

“This guy, sorry I forgot your name?” The male laughs, eyes forming crescents when he smiles brightly at Jeongguk. “It’s Seokmin.”

“Right, right. Seokmin is asking if we’re hiring?” Jeongguk ends with a head tilt, unsure of the answer himself.

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek. Technically yes, they were understaffed even with Namjoon around. But Namjoon was also technically the one in charge of overseeing hiring positions. And while they technically should’ve hired more staff, that also meant Seungcheol’s overtime bonuses would be cut anytime they actually had the appropriate amount of staff.

“Uhhhh… I--I don’t think so? I’m not the one in charge. Our manager that decides staff and hiring positions is out of town indefinitely so…” Seungcheol trails off, hoping Seokmin gets the hint.

“Ahh… Should I come back another time then?” Seungcheol nods, frowning slightly. “Sorry ‘bout that man. But hey, why don’t you leave your contact info so we can call you? So you don’t have to keep coming back.”

Seokmin nods, beaming at the older male.

“Sure, that’d be great! Thanks!”

Seungcheol only feels slightly bad when he gets home that night, praying karma doesn’t kick his ass later for lying.

On days when you cancel your show are the days Seungcheol realizes he needs more hobbies than watching your cam shows and gaming all night.

Not that it’s a bad thing, he thinks, just that he could supplement his life with more.

He places an order for a few cookbooks alongside the order for the sybian, soft chuckles spilling from his lips when he realizes what an odd array of things he’s ordered.

Seungcheol manages to fill his night with meaningless tasks; finally cleaning his PC and settling in to watch a movie while he polishes off an entire pizza. He checks his phone a few more times, noting no new messages and he wonders if you’re really okay. A lightbulb goes off in his head, power walking back to his PC as he opens a new browser.

He bites his lip, typing in ‘j__min’ in the search bar to see what comes up. By nature, the username is unfortunately a lot more common than he anticipates and he ends up rifling through a lot of dead ends before he comes upon the profile on the same camming website you used and an instagram that seemed to be updated fairly regularly.

“Let’s see…”

Your body feels hot all over. Pin pricks on your fingertips as a bead of sweat trickles down your temple.

Now, you didn’t feel sick, you just felt incredibly insatiable. Again.

You weren’t sure if it was because your body had adjusted to a certain schedule, but you can’t help the way you toss and turn in bed; thighs rubbing together in hopes of alleviating the growing wetness between them.

Checking the clock, you note it’s already 10PM, close to when you’d normally be doing your show. You sigh, pushing your sweaty hair out of your face as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. You immediately notice a few text messages from Seungcheol; frowning when you notice the text messages were from the morning.

cheollie ✨: hey, baby :( saw your note, i hope you’re okay.

cheollie ✨: make sure to drink a lot of water and take medicine!

cheollie ✨: don’t push yourself too hard either okay?

The messages end there and you pout, unsure what to even say now that it had been hours since he’d texted.

babygirl 🍒 : cheollie… i only saw ur msgs now 🥺

babygirl 🍒 : im sorryyyyy i was sleeping so long but i feel better now!!

Seungcheol closes all his browser tabs before he realizes it, a smile on his face when he sees you’ve responded.

‘That’s okay, I’m just glad you’re okay and feeling better. Promise me you drank tons of water?’

He feels giddy, palms sweaty as he grips his phone.

babygirl: mmhmm! i did… i don’t even feel sick anymore 🥺 but…

babygirl: dunno… i’m feeling needy again… i think my body is used to my usual schedule...

Seungcheol’s body thrums with newfound energy and arousal at your leading comments. He’s unsure of what to say next, fearing he was going to say too much. But his phone pings again, eyes quickly flitting over your messages.

babygirl 🍒 : if ur busy its okay but

babygirl 🍒 : do u think we could cam? just u and me?

babygirl 🍒 : only if ur free tho!!

His fingers are tingling when he sends his reply, making it short and sweet before he places his phone down and makes sure his PC is running smoothly.

‘Of course, you know I’m always here when you need me. :)’

It takes a few minutes for you and Seungcheol to set up your respective spaces and in the meantime, you grab your laptop, propping it open on the bed next to you as you lay in front of it. You had debated on using your better camera which you used for camming, but you didn’t want it to be set up like a cam show.

Instead, you wanted a more intimate and casual video call with Seungcheol, so you made sure your webcam worked fine as you placed it on the sheets.

‘Video Call Incoming…’

You can’t help the blush that coats your skin nor the lust that fills your body as soon as you accept his call; his somewhat blurry figure coming into view.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Seungcheol beams at you through the grainy camera and you already feel yourself clenching around emptiness, words caught in your throat at how handsome he was and how truly enticing his voice was. “H-hi!” Rubbing your thighs together, you peer at the camera shyly. “I--wow, the pictures really… You’re so much more handsome on v-video.” You giggle slightly, leaning in closer to your laptop to get a better view of the silvery-blue haired male.

Seungcheol’s deep laugh filters through the speakers and your toes curl against the sheets.

“You should see me in person, maybe I’ll look even better then.”

You don’t deny that one bit; your own hands already itching to touch yourself. “Oh? Is that an invitation~?”

Seungcheol’s eyes pierce the camera, licking his own lips as you watch him  snake a hand down into his sweats.

“If you want it to be, sweetheart. But tell me about you, how are you feeling? Have you eaten already?”

Gulping, you watch as his hand seems to work slowly and out of view. “I--um, I feel b-better just… Dunno, guess my body’s just used to, um, y’know… A-and I haven’t really had much of an appetite...” You trail off, head still fuzzy from the cold medicines and now, Seungcheol.

In a roundabout way, it almost feels like you’re watching him do a show for you as you watch him slowly get off.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, baby. But you know you should try to eat, okay? I don’t want you to get even sicker.” You nod, fingertips already at the edge of your sleep shorts. 

“I--c-can I touch myself too?” Seungcheol laughs lightly, nodding as he tilts his head back. “Of course, you don’t need to ask me for permission, baby.”

You grin at him, sitting up as you reposition the laptop. Your hand slides underneath a pillow, grabbing the small bullet vibrator you kept there. “Do you always keep a toy handy?” His voice is airy, teasing in the way he asks.

“Mmhmm~ You never know when you’ll need it~” You sing-song, shimmying your sleep shorts and panties off before you spread your legs in front of the camera.

The air gets knocked out of Seungcheol the second you spread your legs for him and him alone and he can’t help but imagine all the things he wanted to do with you. He watches as you tease yourself, fingertips only grazing across the areas he knew you wanted to be touched the most. 

“I can’t wait for us to finally fuckin’ meet.” He grits out.

A moan floats through the speakers of Seungcheol’s gaming PC, your saccharine voice music to his ears. “M-me too, wanna know what you’d do to me~” You giggle afterwards, pressing the vibrator to your clit as you spread your legs wider for him to see. Seungcheol’s hand around his cock tightens as he watches, an appreciative smirk on his face.

“Oh sweetheart, what wouldn’t I do to you.” You can’t help but slide your fingers through your wet folds listening to Seungcheol’s voice, whimpering when you finally slide a finger in. “Yeah? What would be the first thing? Tell me, ‘Cheollie~”

Even through the webcam quality, you can see the way Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over in complete pleasure. He licks his lips once, leaning in close so that you can hear him clearly.

“I know you probably think I’d get straight to the filthy shit, huh? Pin you to your bed and fuck you until you forget your own name or tie you up to the bedposts and make you beg for me to fuck you. But I wouldn’t. Because I wanna worship your fuckin’ body. I’d take it nice and slow with you, give you as many orgasms as you want.”

“F-fuck, Seungcheol, I–”

“You could use me for your pleasure, y’know? You deserve it. You’re such a good girl. I’d give you anything you fuckin’ want if you’d let me.”

Your choked moans have Seungcheol working his cock faster; nothing on his mind except for you and his impending orgasm. “Oh g-god, Seungcheol, I--fuck, yes, I want that~ I want you to--to make me cum as many times as I w-want!” You mewl, easily working in another finger as you pump the digits inside your pussy.

He smirks when he sees your grip on the vibrator loosening, knowing that you were already too lost in the pleasure to keep the toy on. “And I’d let you. Maybe I’d make you cum on my tongue first. Or would you want my fingers?”

“B-both! Puh--please…” You whine, legs threatening to clamp shut. You curl and scissor your fingers, thrusting them knuckle deep inside yourself as you chase the pleasure that overtakes your senses. “Please, ‘Cheol, tell me more~”

You watch through the camera as Seungcheol pushes his sweats down enough to get his cock into view; mouth watering as you watch it curve up to his lower abdomen.

“I know how much you love being doted on and being taken care of… So after I make you cum all fuckin’ night, you know I’d take care of you. Make sure you’re comfortable and cuddle with you when you’re tired.” His hips cant up into his closed palm, a soft groan on his lips. “And then when we wake up, I’ll eat you out. Nice and slow so you know it’d be worth it.” 

Seungcheol smirks, smearing the precum all over his shaft. “But I also know you like it rough and you like being punished like a bad girl. You like the idea of being tied up and teased and being fucked nice and hard too. I could take it nice and slow, build up the pleasure for you. Or I can take it nice and slow and tease you, I’d make you sit on my cock ‘n make you wait for it ‘til you’re begging me. Or maybe you would want an audience? Let them see you fall apart on my cock when you’re desperate to cum.” 

You press the vibrator against your clit again, Seungcheol’s name falling out of your mouth in a blubbering mess. “Oh--I--!!”

Your legs clamp shut, fingers halting their movements as you cum hard around your fingers. Seungcheol watches as your legs shake, his own hand running up and down his cock in quick motions as he chases his high too. You vaguely hear him groaning your name; the ringing in your ears overbearing as your orgasm continues to wash over you.

The sound of your quick and shallow breaths mix with Seungcheol’s over the speakers as the two of you catch your breath. You slip your fingers from inside of you, wincing when you turn off the toy and toss it to the side.

“Fuck, baby, I--”

“Y-yeah…” You quietly lick your fingers clean, knowing that Seungcheol’s watching. “I… that was the first time I… did that with s-someone…” You giggle tiredly, wiping the rest of your sticky fingers on your shirt.

“Really? Never?” Seungcheol’s surprised expression makes you giggle; his eyes round and mouth wide open as he leans closer to his webcam.

“Mmhmm! Just, y’know, it’s--it’s hard to get close to people sometimes…”

You had mentioned it off-handedly once while the two of you had been texting, that most of the dates you’d been on hated the fact that you cammed. There was always a possessive aura that was present and while Seungcheol would sometimes get a little jealous himself, he also knew it was your livelihood and how you supported yourself.

“Ah, yeah, I can understand.”

The two of you sit in a content silence, Seungcheol reaching for a few tissues to clean off the drying cum on his abdomen.

“Hey, ‘Cheol?”

“Yeah?” He peers up at the camera through his lashes, blinking rapidly as he watches you lay back down in front of your laptop.

“About what you said… earlier…” You pause, shyness overtaking once again. “I--Would you want to meet up? Like, for real? I mean--not--not like tomorrow or something but... Y’know, we can start planning?” 

Any words that come after that turn into radio static in Seungcheol’s head and he can feel his pupils shaking, nervousness already bubbling up inside of him at the prospect of actually finally maybe getting to meet you. 

“Seungcheol? ‘Cheollie? You okay?” 

Fuck.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah! I’m cool, I’m good, sorry, that--that caught me off guard.”

He watches as you talk animatedly, mind already going a mile a minute as he thinks over everything that needed to be done before then. 

“I’m really excited to meet you, ‘Cheollie!” 

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Two

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry. (No smut yet, getting closer though.)

Part One

Harry drove straight to Niall’s apartment, and banged on the door as soon as he got there.

“Good thing I didn’t have a woman over!” Niall says to him, letting Harry walk in. “So, how was the date?”

“It was great, actually.”

“Don’t sound so surprised, I wouldn’t set you up with some idiot.”

“Well, you have before.”

“And yet you still trusted me.” Niall’s phone buzzes, he check it and smiles.

“Is that her?”

“Oh no, I’m not stayin’ in the middle of this. Did you give her your number?”

“Yes.”

“Alright, so text her.”

“It’s too soon. Maybe in a little while I certainly won’t wait until tomorrow.”

“Did anything happen between you two?”

“She kissed me on the cheek before she got into her car. I would have liked to do more, but I didn’t want to push it.”

“Good idea. I won’t fill you in on too much because it’s not my story to tell, but she’s been burned in the past, so taking it slow with her is smart.” Harry plops down on the couch.

“She’s so smart, and funny. There was never a lull in conversation. And she complimented my nails. Like, she genuinely liked them.”

“Why wouldn’t she?”

“I don’t know, you know how some people can be.”

“When do you think you’ll see her again?”

“No idea. I don’t want to seem too eager.” Niall’s phone buzzes again. “It is her! What is she saying?”

“Nothing, she just thanked me for setting her up with such a nice guy, and that she had a really nice time.” Harry smiles a toothy smile.

“We really did have a nice time. Ugh, the dress she wore, it was breathtaking.” He slaps his forehead with his palm.

“What?”

“I’m such an idiot, I never even complimented her appearance.”

“That could be a good way to start a conversation over text later.”

“Brilliant! I’ll give it an hour or so.”

Harry left Niall’s after an hour. When he got home, he settled into a pair of sweatpants, and got cozy on his couch, flipping the TV on. He grabbed his phone and texted you.

“I had a great time tonight. I forgot to tell you how beautiful you looked.” He awaited your reply nervously. Within five minutes, you responded.

“I had a great time too, and thank you!” You had sent along the smiling emoji with the blushing cheeks.

You two texted back and forth for about an hour, until you passed out. He figured as much when you stopped responding, and put himself to bed. The next morning you frantically texted him.

“So sorry, I fell asleep!”

“G’morning beautiful.” He promptly responded. This sent butterflies through your stomach and made you squeal. Suddenly you were in high school again, getting excited over as something as simple as a good morning text. “What are you up to today?”

“Just the usual Sunday routine, cleaning, grocery shopping, meal prepping. All that fun stuff ;)”

“Sounds about the same as my routine, lol”

The texting dwindled by midday. You both got busy with other things. Sunday evening you decided to do a little self-care, and put a clay mask on while watching TV. Just as you were settling in, you heard the buzzer for your apartment, and saw a missed call from Niall.

“Is it just you down there?”

“Of course, who else would be with me?”

“You know who!”

“Would ya just let me up?!” You rolled your eyes and buzzed him in.

He immediately burst into laughter when he saw your face. You swatted at him to stop. You went into the bathroom to wash everything off.

“What are you even doing here?” You asked, coming back into the living room. He was now seated on your couch.

“I wanted to hear about your date.”

“It couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” You asked, sitting down next to him.

“No because we would just get interrupted with work. He came over last night right after.”

“Really?” You perked up.

“Mhm, he had a great time. Did he end up texting ya?”

“Yeah we talked all night, and he said good morning to me today. It was so sweet.”

“Oh good, he was nervous it would be too soon to contact you.”

“You don’t have to do this y’know.”

“Do what?”

“Become this middle man.”

“S’not what I’m doin’. I just wanted to see how you were. I’m your friend, and I never want to see you how were like that last time.” A flash back to your horrible appearance from your depressive episode plays in your head.

“That was over a year ago. I’m much better now. I saw a therapist remember? I wasn’t treated right, and I blamed myself, but I don’t anymore. That guy was just a jackass. Harry seems really sweet.”

“He is, he’s one of the nicest guys I know.”

“He told me you became really good friends because you both don’t like wearing clothes.” You can’t hide your laughter.

“That asshole.” He laughed along with you.

The next day at work, you brought Niall a coffee. You couldn’t stop thinking about Harry. You hadn’t texted anymore, but you didn’t think much of it. Around noon, just before you went to meet Niall for lunch, you got a call. You saw Harry’s name, and closed your office door.

“Hello?”

“Afternoon beautiful.” You blush and silently squeal to yourself.

“Afternoon, handsome.” You hear a small chuckle. “What’s up?”

“Nothin’, I was just wonderin’ when I could see ya next.”

“Oh, well, how about Friday after work?”

“Too long from now. Do you not go out on school nights?” He teased. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“Something like that. I like to go to the gym after work, and by the time I get home I eat dinner, shower up, have a little time for TV, and then go to bed.”

“I suppose Friday could work. Honestly, if I met you for lunch or something I don’t think I’d be able to let you go back to work.” He said in a playful tone, trying not to sound controlling.

“Did you have anything in mind? Dinner again?” You didn’t mind going out to eat again.

“Sure, we could do that. Something less formal though.”

“That sounds good to me.” There’s a knock on your door. “I gotta go, but I’ll text you later to flesh out the details.”

“Alright, talk you soon.”

You hang up and open your door to find Niall, he sighs with relief.

“Christ, I thought you left and I was going to be forced to eat with those old biddies.”

“I would never do that to you.” You grab your lunch box and head with him to the break room. “Harry just called, we’re going out Friday after work.” You say, both sitting down at a small table.

“That’s great! Where are ya gonna go this time?”

“Don’t know yet.” You shovel some food into your mouth. “Somewhere more casual. I’d love to go like one of those adult arcades or something, maybe I’ll suggest that.”

“Oh he’d love that. But be careful, he tends to get competitive.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.” You smile at your friend. You know he means well, and you appreciate him looking out for you.

That night after work, you decide to be bold and give Harry a call after getting home from the gym.

“Good evening.” He says.

“Hey, sorry for not getting back to you earlier, I had meetings all afternoon, I barely got anything done.”

“S’no problem, love.” Must be a British thing that he keeps calling you love.

“I thought of something fun we could do Friday.”

“Oh really? Lemme hear it.”

“How about going to one of those adult arcades? Like Dave and Busters?”

“Oh, that sounds like great fun. They have dinner and stuff there too. I don’t think there’s one around here though.”

“There’s a place like it, sort of an off brand version. I’ve been a couple times with my girlfriends, it’s a lot of fun.”

“Sounds good to me. Good way to blow off steam at the end of the work week.”

“For sure.”

The place you suggested was called Pinz. It was this massive adult arcade that also had bowling. There were two giant bars, and plenty of places to sit and have a meal. You had been for a bachelorette party and it was so much fun. There’s something for everyone to do.

You and Harry text and call each other throughout the week. By the time Friday rolls around you’re extremely excited to see him face to face again. You pack everything you’re going to wear that night in your work bag as you agreed to meet around six. The day went by surprisingly quick. You locked your office door so you could get changed. You put on a dark pair of skinny jeans, and a pair of black booties. Next you put on a red short sleeve top. You changed necklaces, and freshened your perfume. Your hair was in a high, wavy pony, and you liked the way your hair cascaded over your shoulders, so you kept it like that. As you walked out, you bumped into Niall.

“Well don’t you look lovely?” He said.

“Aw, thank you. I’m so excited to see him.”

“He’s excited too.”

You exchanged goodbyes as you made your way to your cars. You fell a little nervous driving up to the bar. You had second date jitters for sure. You got there a little before six. You wanted to have a drink before he got there, or at least start one. Around six fifteen, half way through your drink, you get a text from him saying he just parked. You smiled and told him you were inside already. Moments later you see him walk in. He was wearing black jeans, which were slightly ripped at the knees. He also had on a pair of boots. He had a green t-shirt on, and smiled the minute he saw you.

When he got over to you, this time instead of a handshake, he took you in for a gentle hug. He noticed the drink in your hand.

“Starting without me I see?” You look down and your face goes red. “Teasing.” He orders himself a drink. “Cool place, it’s massive.”

“Yeah, there’s definitely plenty to do.”

“Would you mind if we ate first? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t starved. I had to skip my lunch today.”

“Of course!”

You two are seated in just a few minutes. Harry frowns when he looks at the menu.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’, just a lot of like chicken wings and ribs and stuff. Not sure what I can eat is all.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I figured we’d get some apps like mozzarella sticks or spinach dip, I completely forgot you don’t eat cheese. If you want we can leave and come back.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll get a salad or something. Look here, chips and guac. Do you like guacamole?”

“Love it!”

“Then we can split that if you like.” He gives you a smile, and you feel at ease.

You both get a garden salad, and the chips and guac. Once you’re both properly fed, you get two more drinks, and head over to the arcade section. You start off the with basketball game. Usually Harry would be competitive, but he gets distracted by the way your shirt subtly lifts up when you shoot, just barely seeing your midriff. He notices your belly piercing and smirks. He makes up his baskets, and ends up beating you at the game.

Next you go to ski ball, which you end up beating him at, not that either of you were keeping score. You both shied away from the games that were literally just for winning tickets. You share many laughs, and before you know it, you’re drunk. How did you manage to get drunk at the arcade? Salad. You literally ate the lightest thing on the menu. He seemed to be a bit buzzed, but doing better than you.

“Mind if we sit for a bit?” You ask him. Music was starting to play. The DJ must have just gotten there. Oh yeah, there’s a dance floor here too, you remember.

“Sure thing.”

You find a high top to sit at, and Harry gets you both some water.

“Thank you, I’m parched.” The cold water slaps the back of your throat, careful not to drink too much in fear of throwing up.

“This place is great.” He smiles at you.

“I’m glad you’re having a good time. I never asked you earlier, why did you skip lunch?” A little hiccup comes out, and you cover your mouth.

“Just a busy day shootin’ pictures. We had a tough time getting the lighting just right. I’m too picky for my own good sometimes.”

“Do you ever travel for work?”

“Sometimes, not as often as I used to. I don’t quite like traveling anymore.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well for work at least. I mean, I’m about to turn twenty-six, it was getting old barely spending time at my apartment that I pay way too much rent for to not actually live in it. I’d rather travel on my own time, and take pictures that I want to take. Not just follow a shot list.”

“That makes a lot of sense.” You say nodding along to his story. He looks at his watch. It’s already nine.

“Not to sound too forward or anything, but would you care to get outta here? I’m not much one for dancing, and it’s getting louder in here by the second.”

“Sure!”

You stand up, and he puts his hand on the small of our back to help guide you through the people. As you walk outside the fresh air hits you, and it feels amazing. You look up at him concerned.

“Harry.”

“Yes?”

“I think I’m too drunk to drive.” He laughs.

“Don’t worry, love, I can drive us.”

“You’re okay to?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have that much, remember you were a whole drink ahead of me.” He winks at you. “I can always pick you up tomorrow to get your car.” You appreciate that he’s clear about not spending the night together.

“That would be great. We can go hang out at my place if ya want?” You slur. “Might be easier if you already know where I live.”

“That works.”

He walks you to his car, and opens the door for you. You give him your address and he puts it in the GPS. You sober up a bit on the drive, but definitely still feel a buzz. You walk up the steps of your apartment, and open the door for him. You key in, and thank god you had thought to clean up.

Your apartment was cute and simple. It was a one bedroom, and you had an en suite bath. There was a half bath next to the coat closet as you first walked in. That was partially why you rented this specific place. You loved having a bathroom right there in case you really needed to pee. As you walk in to the main area there was an open concept kitchen and living room. You used a futon on as your couch so guests had a place to sleep if need be.

“This is a nice place you have.” He says looking around.

“Thanks, it’s definitely a big girl apartment. It’s nice to finally make enough money where I don’t need a roommate.”

“I know the feeling. It was nice living with Niall for so long, but after a certain point you just want your own space.”

“Can I get you anything?” You ask walking over to the kitchen, he follows and sits down on one of the stools at your island.

“Just some water would be great, love.”

You fill up two glasses of water, and hand him one. You guzzle yours down, and fill up another immediately. You realize how much you need to pee.

“Pardon me, I’ll be right back.”

You go use your bathroom, and freshen up your makeup. When you walk back out Harry has made himself comfortable on your couch. You see him scrolling through his phone. He smiles up at you when he notices you. He pats the spot next to him, and you sit down, tucking one leg under yourself.

“What’s your apartment like?” You ask, trying to think of something to say.

“Sorta like this actually. Only mine’s a studio.”

“Oh, you don’t mind just having your bed out?”

“I don’t have guests over often. I work a lot on the weekends sometimes. It’s enough space for me.” He gives you a half smile. “I’m sure eventually I’ll get something bigger, but for now it works. Less to clean too.”

“Good point. I started out in a studio when I first moved out of my roommate’s place, but I felt like I was in an oversized dorm. Once I saved up some money I got this place. Been here a little over a year now.”

“It’s a nice neighborhood too.”

“Yeah! No creeps in this building either. I feel really safe. Plus Niall doesn’t live too far away either.”

“Definitely nice to have a friend close by. Where do your girlfriends live?”

“A couple of them live together on the other side of town. My best girlfriend just got married about six months ago. Her and her boyfr-husband live in the suburbs in their house.”

“Wow, a house.”

“I know right? He’s an oral surgeon so he makes a ton of money. I think he covered their entire down payment.”

“Did she marry him for that fact?”

“No, they were friends for a long time actually. One day they both went out, got drunk, and hooked up. Next thing we all knew they were a couple.” You look down for a second then back up. “It really changed the group dynamic if I’m being honest. We all stopped hanging out as much, it was hard. But I’m happy for them. Then I met Niall at work and things got better too.”

“Can I ask, did you and Niall ever go out?”

“Oh, god no. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the accent had me swooning when we first met, but he’s more like a brother to me than anything. I wouldn’t survive that job without him. I’m not sure why he and I became such fast friends, but I’m glad we did.”

“He raved about you for a long time, and I always told him to just ask you out, but I’m glad he didn’t.” He lets out a nervous laugh.

“He’s just sweet like that.”

“He mentioned one time that you had really been through it, and he knew you were better off having a friend.”

“Yeah, um, a little over a year ago something happened, but…”

“Jesus, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even brought anything up.”

“No, it’s okay. Maybe I’ll tell you some other time, but not tonight.”

“Fair enough, sorry.” He gives your bent knee a little squeeze, and takes it away. You miss his touch immediately.

“It’s okay, really.” You smile. “Sometimes I just don’t have a great judge of character I guess.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“What made you agree to a blind date?”

“I don’t know exactly. I was sort of getting sick of the online dating thing. Most of those things were just for hook ups anyway. I know twenty-four isn’t old, but I just felt like I was getting too old for it. I have to say, I wanted to cancel with you.”

“Why’s that?” He says, fake offended.

“Because I couldn’t find you online anywhere! I found your Instagram, but there was no picture of you. I practically stalked Niall’s Facebook, but I couldn’t tell which one you were in any group photo. And he wouldn’t show me a picture of you.” Harry laughs at your sloothyness.

“When I finished grad school I got rid of my Facebook, and turned my Instagram into my brand for my freelance work. I do have a private Instagram though, but it’s under a completely different username.”

“Hm, maybe you’ll show it to me?”

“Perhaps another time.” He winks at you. “I found you online, although I couldn’t see much.”

“My privacy settings are tight.”

“I noticed.”

“So, you saw my face then?”

“I did, and I still wanted to meet you.” You scoff and nudge his shoulder as he laughs at his bad joke. “Teasing.” He puts his hands up. “I saw your picture and couldn’t believe such a beautiful woman was single.” You roll your eyes with a smile.

“You know exactly what to say don’t you?” He shakes his head no. “What made you agree to a blind date?”

“Same reason as you, I guess. Although, I almost didn’t agree because that bastard has set me up with some real stinkers before.”

“Well I’m glad I wasn’t a stinker.” You laugh.

“Me too.” He puts his hand over yours and gives it a squeeze. You slump further into the couch, feeling relaxed by his touch. He furrows his eyebrows for a moment while he looks at you. He reaches his hand up, and swipes his thumb across your cheek bone. You nearly flinch. “Sorry, eyelash.” He holds it up so you can see. “Make a wish.” He smiles. You nearly melt. You close your eyes and blow softly on his thumb.

When you open your eyes back up to look at him, you notice his pupils have gotten larger. He leans in close, cupping your cheek with his hand.

“Is this alright?” He says in almost a whisper. You nod your head yes.

You close your eyes, and feel his lips brush against yours. He kisses you lightly, almost tender. You kiss him back, and lean into him. He puts his hands on your back to pull you a little closer. Your hands press flatly onto his chest. You both sink into the kiss. His lips tasted like mint from the gum he had chewed in his car. You want to part your lips for him to let him in and explore, but you’re also afraid to move too fast. You break the kiss and look at him. His eyes pop open and gives you a concerned look.

“Something wrong, love?”

“No, it’s just, I don’t want this to move too fast.” You try to keep a soft expression to assure him it’s more of a you thing than it is him.

“Alright.” He smiles at you. “Should I be going then?”

“That might be for the best.” He gets up, and you follow him out the hallway. “It was a really nice kiss though.” You say, surely blushing.

“I’d very much like to do it again sometime.”

“Me too.”

“What time should I grab you to pick up your car?”

“Fuck, I almost forgot about that. What time works for you, I’m on your schedule.”

“How about around ten? We could go for brunch if you like?”

“Oh I would love that Harry.” You beam at him. “Thank you for being so understanding tonight.”

“Don’t thank me, (y/n). You told me to stop so I did.” He smiled and shrugged. “I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight.”

You pull him in for a hug, and quick kiss on the lips, which surprises him. He sighs happily when you finish your hug. He leaves and you sigh as well. You could kick yourself. You wanted more of him, you wanted to see how he actually tasted. But you were so scarred from the last time you started seeing someone that you just couldn’t do that to yourself again.

[skinks]

i can't remember if it was one of your posts or someone else's where the losers all grew their foreskins back and running to the bathroom to check but it's been living rent free in my head and all i can think of is them all whipping it out being like wtf and then someone (eddie) looks over and is like "holy fuck rich why is your dick so massive literally who gave you the right" and then eddie has a little internal crisis of 'if i wasn't gay b4 i am now'

YEAAAH LMAO THAT WAS ME thank you and also sorry it’s stuck in your head, it’s such a dumb idea but it still makes me laugh.

If the Derry Magic™ canonically reverses Richie’s vasectomy and heals their scars etc. I think it’d be a cool concept if it started to heal... well, everything, once they’re back inside city limits. I’m actually writing a weird ficlet about that idea that’s currently sitting half-baked in my drafts, but back to Foreskins 2: 2Old 4Skin

All the Losers with dicks (aside from Mike since he never left Derry) start shifting in their seats at the Jade and looking down at their laps, alarmed. Given the time period and the fact that it’s... the USA, I’m guessing most of them would be circumcised, so I can only imagine how unusual it would be to feel yourself regrowing a turtleneck. 

But Joe, I hear you cry, if they were circumcised as newborns why is it only growing back now instead of in the <18 years they were in Derry the first place? And if they’re all circumcised why are Bill/Richie/Eddie all so amused at the prospect of Stanley having “the tip of his dick” chopped off at the start of It (2017)?

What do I look like, someone who’s gonna let conflicting meta get in the way of my own conflicting foreskin headcanons? Get outta here!

Anyway, eventually it all gets too weird. Ben can feel a faint pinching that he, quite honestly, hates. They blurt some excuse to Beverly and make a mad dash for the bathroom, trying not to clutch the fronts of their pants like Richie made one joke too funny and there was a collective accident. A Titanic situation. Richie’s trying to think of a joke about this on the move but to be honest his dick feels like it’s growing or something, and ironically he can’t think of a goddamn thing to say.

They’re all waddling. Mike sighs and stands to follow them. “I thought this might happen.”

“Are you guys gonna have some No Girls Allowed meeting without me? Rich and Eddie were already doing enough dick measuring out here, this is bullshit,” Bev says, but Mike is gone. She drinks his beer as revenge.

Any and all dick measuring is happening purely on a visual level, amongst all the panicking and whisper-yelling (whisper-screaming) and vaguely horrified examination going on in the bathroom. Eddie’s had a little too much to drink to stop himself from whisper-hissing his outrage at the size of Richie’s big fucking dick (at least, he thinks later, his stunned disbelief covered his outrage at the fact that Richie wouldn’t even look at Eddie’s dick back, not even to make light of the size difference, the disappointment surrounding it something he’s not yet willing to face.)

When things fail to calm down and they’ve driven 3 other restaurant patrons right out of the bathroom and Mike has been whisper-shouted at four separate times and bullied into showing his own dick, Bill finally puts on his Big Bill Leader Hat and tries to see reason. It’s with a strange sinking feeling that he realises Mike was simply waiting for him to do so, from the pleased smile on his tired face. 

Bill’s not sure he’s looking forward to any situation that might mean he has to lead these strangers again. They’re not kids anymore. Look at their dicks! But this, at least, he can manage. “Wait, shut up - R-Richie shut up, stop pulling at it! This might not all be so b-bad, y’know? Audra - I mean, I h-heard. I read they’re... t-they can make sex, uh. Better. Way better. Easier, for everyone. That’s something, at least? Right?” He looks around, a little desperately.

It takes a few tries for Ben to zip his jeans back up with shaking hands. Eddie looks like he’s about to cry. Mike is beaming around, proudly, at everyone’s newly-cozy dicks.

“That’s fucking fantastic,” Richie says, waving his dick angrily at Bill. It’s a lot more arresting than shaking a finger, Bill will admit. “Just great, Billy - ignoring the completely insane fact that all four of us just spontaneously grew ourselves some fancy little dicksleeves outta nowhere like - Jesus Christ, what is this, the Chinese place from Freaky Friday? Did those fortune cookies swap us into exact copies of our own bodies, hold the mayo, extra pastrami? Do I look like either Jamie Lee Curtis or Lindsay fucking Lohan to you? Did Lindsay fucking Lohan grow a dick like this in that movie?”

“I don’t think anyone has a dick like that,” Eddie mumbles.

“I didn’t see that movie,” Bill says.

“That’s not the point,” Richie says. His dick waves in his fist like a sign language interpreter at the bottom of the screen helping Richie to deliver his tirade. The mirror spans the wall over the sinks, so even when Bill tries to avert his eyes he still fears having them poked out. He stares up at the water-stained ceiling tiles instead. “The point is, you want us all to be cool as cucumbers with little fucking scarves about this totally fucked up, creepy, Cronenberg bullshit because your wife fucked a British dude one time and told you to your face that it was better?!”

Bill frowns, raising his hands. “Well. I d-don’t think that’s w-w-what-”

“Do I seem,” Richie continues, looking extremely frazzled, “like someone confident enough in his sex life that re-learning the ropes at 40 fucking years old is gonna be a piece of cake?! Jesus Christ! I don’t know what to do with this thing!” Another man pushes open the bathroom door, takes one look at them, and walks straight back out. Richie curses under his breath and zips up too, Eddie following his lead, until Bill is the only one standing there with his dick out. 

Something about the situation feels vaguely familiar, Bill thinks, with a phantom ache in his cheekbone. 

Richie flails with the pockets of his jacket. “Zero times foreskin is still zero, Bill!”

With that and without washing his hands, Richie stomps out of the bathroom, head ducked, the back of his neck bright pink. Eddie hastily finishes washing his own hands and scurries after him, seething again. “I knew it! I fucking knew it!”

[swan--writes]

for the dewey fics, could you do holding onto you by twenty one pilots?

This is my third attempt to write this. Fun times. I hope y’all like it, and I’m sorry it’s late!

Warnings: seasonal affective disorder

Words: ~825

I’m taking over my body, back in control, no more shotty.

You were surprised. For all the air’s recent bluster and frigidity, you had been expecting snow this weekend. Instead, you got rain. Blustery, frigid, pelting rain. It pummeled the roof of Dewey’s apartment and crashed into the windows. It rolled across the city ground in sheets, so the water leapt up from the streets at pedestrians in small waves.

I bet a lot of me was lost, ‘T’s uncrossed and ‘I’s undotted.

You were standing in it, staring up with your arms outstretched, in the parking lot of Dewey’s apartment building. He had been in the shower when you slipped outside, but you knew that he would probably come looking for you at some point.

I fought it a lot and it seems a lot like flesh is all I got.

There weren’t many people on the sidewalks today, but you were sure that the unlucky few were giving you odd looks. You imagined parents hurrying their children along, businessmen shaking their heads and tightening their holds on their briefcases. And you didn’t much care.

Not anymore, flesh out the door: swat!

It was late February, and for the first time all winter, you could actually feel the rain attempting to slice its way into your skin. Your thin jacket hadn’t stood much of a chance against the downpour, and you were freezing. But you weren’t going numb, so you didn’t care. In fact, you could feel waves of tension falling off your shoulders and rolling away from your back, washed away by the rain. You might have been crying. You knew you were laughing; odd, light giggles.

After about ten minutes, though, you heard your name. At first, it was questioning, then mildly admonishing.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing out here?” Dewey jogged up to you, fighting with his umbrella. Vaguely, you wondered why he had brought it out here. Nothing short of a military-grade tent would hold up in this weather.

“Oh, just enjoying this day. It’s so nice out,” you said with a grin. Dewey half chuckled, looking wholly concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes!” Now you were definitely crying. It wasn’t your normal cry though. You didn’t shake and you didn’t sob, you could just feel warm tears mixing in with the cool rainwater running down your face.

Dewey looked around, squinting his eyes against the weather. “Well, you won’t be for much longer if we stay out here. Come inside, baby. C’mon.” He held out his hand. You half laughed, half sniffled, and took his hand.

Remember the moment you know exactly where you’re going…

“Seriously, why did you go out there?” Dewey asked from somewhere in the bathroom. Your partner had cajoled you into the shower and gone to make tea. Unfortunately, Dewey had failed to take into account that he was lousy at making anything that wasn’t pizza pockets. He seemed to have forgotten about the tea as soon as it had begun steeping. You didn’t feel like reminding him, though, and you were prepared to drink over-strong tea.

‘Cause the next moment, before you know it time is slowing and it’s frozen still.

“What do you mean? I love this weather.” Dewey hesitated, seemingly debating whether it was worth fighting you on that.

“I’m worried about you.”

And the window sill looks really nice, right?

“You’ve been so…out of it for a while--I mean, you know this isn’t normal, right?”

You sighed and leaned your head against the shower wall.

You think twice about your life, it probably happens at night, right?

“Yeah, I know,” you mumbled. Dewey didn’t respond, and you wondered if he had heard you over the shower spray. You turned off the water and pulled your towel down from the curtain rack. “I’m sorry, you’re right, I just…I needed today.”

Fight it.

“I didn’t feel numb out there, y’know?”

“No, just cold and wet and shitty.” Something about the way Dewey said it made you laugh, and you heard him cautiously join your laughter. Then you hear him stand from somewhere – probably the toilet lid. “I’ll get your tea. Where do you wanna be?” Huh. He did remember.

“The living room, please.”

You heard the door open and close, and footsteps walking away from the bathroom.

When you stepped out of the shower, you found a pair of your sweatpants and one of Dewey’s flannels. You loved his clothes. And his thoughtfulness. And him. You smiled.

Moments later, you were in your favorite armchair in front of a window with an only slightly too-strong cup of tea and a fluffy blanket around your shoulders. Your nose was cold, but you were suspending doctoral judgment for now. Dewey had taken your temperature with his Horace Green-issued touch-free thermometer, and you were running a bit cold. He sat on the ottoman and watched you while you sipped your tea in silence.

“So, what’s going on?” he asked finally.

You shrugged. “Seasonal affective bullshit, stress, work, the usual.”

“This is usual?”

“Should I have mentioned that before?”

“It might’a been nice.”

“Sorry.”

“What? No, don’t be sorry, I just…” Dewey sighed. Then he lifted your hand away from your mug and kissed your knuckles. “You’re doing better now, though? Or…?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m good.”

And I’ll be holding on to you!

“Can we maybe find a way to channel your goodness into something that won’t give you a cold?”

You laughed again and nodded. “Sure, why not?”

Dewey shook his head.

And I’ll be holding on to you!

.

.

please like and reblog, if you are so moved

tags list: @skiddyyo @missihart23 @ballerinafairyprincess @thewolfisapartofmysoul

if you would like to get on the tags list, shoot me a message or drop me an ask

[jaehyunhour]

the breakfast club | thirty-two

art student!reader x art student!jaehyun college AU

summary: in which you have to write a short film for one of your classes and somehow end up falling in love.

pairing: jaehyun x fem!reader

1284 words.

“i just think we should at least talk to them,” yn suggests. she is currently laying on her side in her bed facing jaehyun, he’s also laying on his side facing her and in the space between them they’re holding hands. jaehyun sighs.

“but they hurt you, yn. i don’t understand why you are so adamant about speaking to them when for the past two weeks, they’ve been going out and rubbing it in your face,” jaehyun says.

“yes, i understand, jaehyun. and yes, i was hurt. but i hurt them first, and i feel so terrible about that. i am not innocent,” yn says.

“but—“ jaehyun starts.

“you are not innocent, either, jaehyun. and i know you know that. listen, you know i love you with every fiber in my being, and i am so thankful that i get to call you mine. but i can’t in good conscience continue our relationship until i have apologized to the people i’ve hurt.”

“i-i don’t understand, do you want to break up?” jaehyun asks, suddenly sitting up.

“no no,” yn follows his moves. “absolutely not, i don’t know what i’d ever do without you.” she places a hand on his face, rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “but i’m meeting jeno and wendy in 20 minutes at the coffee shop, and i think you should come with me too. you’ve hurt wendy too, not just me, jaehyun.”

jaehyun places his hand on top of yn’s and places a small kiss on the palm of her hand, making her smile. “okay, let me put pants on and we can go.” yn leans in and places a kiss on his lips.

“promise me you’ll behave,” yn says.

“i promise, baby.”

and surely enough, 20 minutes later jaehyun and yn sit across from wendy and jeno at the coffee shop.

“thanks for the drinks,” jeno says, breaking the silence.

“no yeah, it’s no problem. hannah’s working so she was able to just give them to me,” yn says. “thank you guys for meeting us.”

“of course,” wendy says, glaring at the couple in front of them.

“are you guys really together?” jaehyun asks.

jeno and wendy glare at each other before looking back at the couple, and shake their heads no. “after i saw jeno’s tweet about you guys breaking up, i texted him to let him know i was there for him. i didn’t expect to get into anything with him, and truly nothing did happen. but after you told me off at your house, i was mad. i’ve never been that mad in my life, really,” wendy starts. “i went to jeno’s to talk to him about what happened, and i wanted to get back at you for the way you acted with me. but recently, jeno has made me realize that what i’ve been doing is wrong.”

“you are so evil,” jaehyun says. immediately, yn turns to face him and hits his chest.

“jaehyun, you promised!” yn rubs at the bridge of her nose, “go to the bathroom and cool off. i want to have a reasonable conversation with jeno and wendy.” jaehyun gets up and walks towards the bathrooms, waving at hannah as he passes the register.

“i’m really sorry about him,” yn starts. “he’s had a lot on his plate lately with school and his family, and he’s been having a hard time dealing with everything that happened between all of us… but he’s trying, i promise you. i told him i couldn’t with good conscience continue to be with him until i apologized to the people i’ve hurt.”

“well, i appreciate that,” jeno responds.

“first, wendy, i want to say i’m sorry. everything with jaehyun aside, i feel like i was not being a good friend to you when you counted on me and i’m sorry. and as for everything with jaehyun, i should have told you to begin with how i felt about jaehyun. i’m sorry that i led you to believe that there was a possibility of something going on between you and him, when deep down i knew that i wanted to be with him.” yn says.

“thank you apologizing,” wendy says. “and i accept your apology.”

jaehyun returns and sits down next to yn again, as she turns to face jeno. jaehyun holds her hand underneath the table, sensing her anxiety. “and jeno… you have every right to be ridiculously upset with me. i’m sorry for leading you on, for making you believe i didn’t have feelings for jaehyun when i did, and for going off on you when i saw that picture of you and wendy together. instead of accusing her of using you, i should’ve just been happy that you were recovering from what i did to you.”

“i accept your apology, also,” jeno says. “you’re not a bad person, yn. i forgive you for what you did, it’s okay.”

yn lets out a sigh of relief.

jaehyun turns to face wendy. “i’m sorry too, wendy. for everything i’ve done to you from high school until now. i recognize that i was wrong in not telling you how i felt about you, both in high school and this time around. you didn’t deserve the way i treated you. i’m also really sorry for bringing up everything that happened with yeri, when i know that’s a sensitive topic for you. please forgive me, and yn.”

“i forgive you guys,” wendy says. “but that doesn’t mean that i want you guys in my life. i can’t speak for jeno and his wishes, but i don’t know if i can continue to be in your guys’ life. i don’t want there to be bad blood between any of us, but i also don’t think we are good for each other.” yn begins to tear up at wendy’s words. “we had some great times together, but i think it’d be best if we don’t try to force a friendship anymore. we are better off without each other.” jaehyun squeezes yn’s hand underneath the table, and she uses her other hand to wipe her tears away.

“no, yeah, of course. that makes sense,” yn says quietly. wendy picks up her bag and gets up from the table. “thank you for apologizing, guys. i forgive you, everything is fine.” she walks away without looking back at them.

“h-how do you feel, jeno?” yn asks, trying to hold in her tears.

“i would like to be your friend again, i just need some time. i’ll reach out to you when i feel alright, okay?” jeno asks, to which yn shakes her head in approval.

“take care,” jaehyun says, as jeno walks away from the table and out of the coffee shop.

as soon as they’re both gone, yn’s tears start falling down her face. jaehyun pulls her close and plays with her hair. “how are you feeling, baby?” jaehyun asks.

“better, so much better,” yn says through choked sobs. she pulls back, takes a deep breath, and wipes her tears away.

“how about we go back to your place, get half naked, and watch a movie?” jaehyun suggests.

“actually—“

“or we can get completely naked and not watch a movie,” jaehyun says, wiggling his eyebrows at his girlfriend.

“stop being dirty,” she says, playfully hitting his chest. “i was going to say, lets go back to yours.’

“but jungwoo, johnny, and doyoung are home.”

“i know! i think i want to be around my friends right now to make me feel better.”

“okay, that’s fair. but after dinner, i will be kicking them out so we can.. y’know, do stuff.”

“you’re ridiculous, jaehyun.”

“but you love me.”

“and i always will.”

previous | next || au masterlist

[artificialqueens]

The same damn hunger (to be touched, to be loved, to be anything at all) (branjie) - writworm42

A/N: Vanessa is the CEO of a hotel chain, in town for the night. When she goes back to her bartender roots, an intriguing guest just happens to catch her eye.

Title from Strangers by Halsey & Lauren Jauregui. For Holtz, who is also a champ who beta-ed and consistently challenges me to be better <3

Before she’d bought the first hotel, before she’d expanded it into a chain, before she’d even thought about getting into the hospitality industry at all, Vanessa had been a bartender. It was how she’d gotten her start, in a way; twenty years old but lying on her resume, mixing drinks and batting her lashes for the patrons of that first little inn, the budget place trying to be bigger than itself with a cash bar stocked pretty much exclusively with vodka, rum, and gin, plus whatever soda was in the lobby’s dispenser that day.

It was funny what you could do with vodka, rum, and a charming smile. What a shitty boss could motivate you to do. So when Vanessa had saved up her tips, took out a loan, saved the slowly-failing inn and turned it around with help from a few friends she’d made with deeper pockets than she’d ever had, it was no surprise that she’d caught the bug. She’d gotten more and more ideas, more and more cash to keep pushing them forward.

Fast forward eight years and business at Mateo Hotels is booming, rocketing Vanessa towards a very comfortable place within orbit of the Top 30 Under 30.

Still, every once in a while, it’s nice to shed the businesswoman persona, reconnect with that twenty-year-old googling how to make a white Russian with milk she’d stolen from the breakfast bar. The twenty-year-old that had brought in a lot of business by herself, because when all you have is vodka, rum, gin, and your own boredom, of course you’re going to start mixing your own cocktails.

Which is exactly how she winds up behind the bar in one of her Nashville chains, taking a break from her most recent inspection-slash-business-meeting to test her skills, make sure she’s still got it. The executives don’t mind–after all, what are they gonna say, no, miss CEO, you can’t make us some extra money with some of the drinks you coined the recipes for? And anyway, it’s not like any of the other staff would know who she is–she’s never been one of those old white ‘from-the-ground-up’ phonies who puts up pictures of herself shaking hands with a mayor in her lobby. So she lets her hair down, shakes it out a little, slides out of her business suit and into a black top like all the other bartenders wear, and starts working her magic.

When she’s mixing drinks, she’s in the zone–nothing can knock her off her focus, take her eyes away from the glasses she’s working on, stop her hands from moving. She’s a professional, after all, and what’s more than that, an artist, hell bent on not just creating a good final product but also putting on a wonderful show.

Usually, at least. Tonight, it’s a little different–because when Vanessa looks up from the drink she’s sliding to a patron, she catches eyes with someone just behind him, a blonde woman who meets her gaze with a challenging smirk and a brief, but all-too-noticeable wink.

Vanessa can’t help but look up and try to make sure the blonde is watching almost every five seconds after that, hoping for an approving look or another wink or just another flash of that gorgeous, red-framed smile. She gets it every time, and within five minutes, she can’t focus anymore–her fingers wind up in a drink by accident, and she makes up her mind then and there that she’s in no condition to keep playing bartender right now.

No, the only thing she wants to do is slide out from behind the bar, lick the flavoured tonic from her fingers, and walk right up to the blonde, who’s still watching with a satisfied smirk.

“Took you long enough.” The blonde muses when Vanessa finally comes up to her, takes the other woman’s cue to sit down next to her. “I was starting to think you’d never get the hint.”

“Oh, I got the hint.” Vanessa licks her lips, suddenly breathless, because the woman is even better up close–Vanessa can tell her skin is soft and smooth just from looking at it, and her face is cool, confident, painted with the smug knowledge of her own irresistibility. Her fingers tap on the table in a mesmerizing, somehow graceful rhythm, and when Vanessa watches them, she can’t help but notice that even though the nails are painted a deep purple, they’re cut short and filed smooth.

This woman didn’t come to play, and Vanessa?

She’s completely taken by it.

“Name’s Brooke.” The blonde’s voice drops to a silky whisper, those perfect hands sliding towards Vanessa’s own, fingertips brushing against hers. “What’s yours, sweetheart?“

There’s a beat, a moment where Vanessa seizes, because a sudden thought flashes through her mind with a sudden risk presenting itself. If she says her name, the woman might put two and two together. While that might be fine, it may also make Vanessa vulnerable - or worse, make the woman feel like she’s got to fuck Vanessa, because otherwise she’s brushing someone important off. At the same time, what’s she going to do, come up with a fake name? It’s a viable option, sure, but if the woman wants to fuck again after, or if someone recognizes her and calls out her name, then it’s all over.

“Vanessa.” She finally decides, her name coming out on the heels of one gasping breath, because fuck it, she’ll take the chance–there’s enough Vanessas in the world, after all, and if the blonde hasn’t recognized her by now, then there’s a low chance a first name will make anything click.

“Your friends gonna notice if you’re gone, Vanessa?” Brooke smiles, leans back a little, because she knows, already knows what Vanessa’s answer is going to be, what’s inevitably going to happen next.

“Don’t you worry about that, sweetheart, I’m just here for the night.” Vanessa licks her lips, and for a moment, she’s almost sure that she can see Brooke blush. But if she did, then she regains her composure awfully fast, because that predatory look comes back in her eyes, gleams with approval and excitement at the thought of her prize.

“Then what d’you say we get out of here, make use of that one night you got?” Brooke purrs, and her hand is back on Vanessa’s, this time gripping it tightly.

“Sounds like it’s about time, baby.” Vanessa smiles. “Let’s go.”

Brooke chuckles a little to herself, gestures for Vanessa to get up from her chair.

“After you.”

–

Vanessa’s overcome with a rare shyness when she swipes the key in her door, lets Brooke into her room. It’s a pretty standard suite–Mateo Hotels may not be a bargain chain, but it certainly isn’t the Ritz, either. Still, there’s something vulnerable about letting Brooke into the space, this space that’s hers but not really. One she hasn’t even unpacked in yet, only dropped her suitcase, because she doesn’t plan on staying for more than the night before traveling back to HQ in LA.

Come to think of it, if it were anyone else, Vanessa probably wouldn’t think twice about the whole arrangement, about what they could gather from the way her room looks like it has no occupants at all. But Brooke is taking her time getting in behind her, scanning the room with eyes that pick it apart, flitting from surface to surface, all around the floor.

“You weren’t shitting me when you said just for the night.” Brooke whistles. “I wish I was this clean.”

Fuck. Vanessa probably looks strange now, uptight or square or something–definitely not the kind of girl someone as confident, as sure of herself as Brooke seems would want.

All is not lost, though; if there’s one thing the industry has taught her, it’s how to problem-solve, be flexible. In the crudest of terms–how to sell a room and make sure someone wants to spend the night in it.

“Y’know, I got in and didn’t have no time to rest.” Vanessa puts on a sigh, closes the distance between herself and Brooke by grabbing the blonde’s waist, stroking her sides. “Ain’t even had time to test the bed.”

“Yeah?” Brooke snorts, but smiles despite herself.

“Yeah.” Vanessa gets up on her toes, presses a light kiss to Brooke’s cheek. “‘S’okay, though. You’re gonna help with that, ain’t you?”

“Not if you keep going with cheesy lines.” Brooke deadpans, but it’s a lost cause–because she’s already gripping Vanessa back, pushing her closer as the smaller woman kisses along her jawline, down to her neck, teasing pecks that make Brooke’s breath hitch already.

Perfect.

“Why don’t you go sit on the bed, pretty girl?” Vanessa pulls back suddenly, a flash of satisfaction running through her when Brooke fails to stifle a quiet whine at the loss of contact. “Mami’s gotta get ready, so sit tight.”

A wink, a little wave, and Vanessa’s off to the bathroom, acutely aware of and perfectly content with how Brooke is watching her as she goes.

Truth be told, Vanessa doesn’t actually have to get ready, not really–she takes off her jacket and pants, untucks her shirt so that it can fall just below her ass. Takes a second to play around with her hair. Mostly, she wants to build the suspense–get Brooke thinking about what’s going to happen, maybe even scheming in her own right. Vanessa can’t wait to see what Brooke is coming up with, almost as much as she can’t wait to see how she can turn those expectations on their head. And when she finally re-emerges from the bathroom, she’s not disappointed.

“My, my.” Vanessa tsks as she walks towards Brooke, who’s stripped down to her underwear and is waiting with a smirk on her face.

“You aren’t the only one who had to get ready, Mami.” Brooke purrs. “But I have to say, I’m disappointed,” she looks Vanessa up and down, her eyes stopping at the hem of the younger woman’s shirt, “seems I’m underdressed.”

“For now.” Vanessa winks, and Brooke laughs, scooting over to make room for Vanessa on the bed.

“Can I kiss you?” Vanessa drops her voice to a whisper, leaning in as she brings a hand to rest on Brooke’s thigh, thumb stroking at the pale, smooth skin.

Brooke doesn’t answer; only brings her hands up to Vanessa’s cheeks, pulls her in to close the distance between them completely. Brooke tastes like lipstick and cigarettes, and the minute Vanessa’s lips touch hers, she can’t get enough. They keep making out even as Brooke’s hands snake to Vanessa’s front, hurrying to undo the buttons of her shirt. Vanessa, for her part, lets her hands travel over Brooke’s sides, nails leaving light scratches that make the blonde shiver. Finally, Vanessa’s shirt is open, and Brooke’s hands are on her tits, and–

Vanessa pulls herself away, and then there’s that whine again, that pitiful, frustrated noise Brooke lets out and that Vanessa wants to hear again and again. Because riling Brooke up, making her desperate–it’s absolutely intoxicating.

“Lie down on the bed, baby girl.” Vanessa orders, but Brooke frowns.

“You’re not–but you–Are you saying you want to top?” Brooke looks down at Vanessa’s hands, at the long, perfectly-manicured acrylics that frame her nails, and it’s cute, really, that Brooke thinks Vanessa wouldn’t have thought this far ahead. So she licks her lips, looks directly at Brooke, and takes each press-on nail off one by one, grin getting wider with every finger.

“Any more problems?”

“No.” Brooke squeaks, looking from Vanessa’s hands to her eyes before the blonde’s face melts into an excited smile. “No problems at all.”

“Good.” Vanessa laughs, leaning down to plant a soft, slow kiss on Brooke’s lips, “That’s what I like to hear.”

Brooke gasps into Vanessa’s lips as the kiss deepens, little sighs and whimpers sounding in Vanessa’s ears as she eases the taller woman back onto the bed, brings her hands to her face and strokes her cheeks with her thumbs. It’s adorable, absolutely addicting, and only spurs Vanessa on further as arousal lights between her legs, her panties already starting to become slick and damp as she continues to play with Brooke, find out what makes her tick.

“Remember how you said you were underdressed?” Vanessa moves her kisses away from Brooke’s mouth, trailing them instead down her neck, licking and sucking over the sharp line of her collarbone.

“Yeah?” Brooke’s voice is breathless, and Vanessa can’t help but giggle against Brooke’s skin because it’s cute, how worked up she already is, absolutely adorable.

“I think it’s quite the opposite.”

Brooke barely has time to react before Vanessa is pulling her up, grabbing her bra and undoing it to replace the cups with her hands, kneading and grabbing and rolling Brooke’s already-hardening nipples between her fingers.

“That feel good, sweetheart?” Vanessa grins when Brooke sighs in relief, leans into her touch. She nods, and Vanessa can’t help but feel a surge of happiness in her chest, because she’s proud of herself, she really is, that she can make Brooke feel so good, make her come undone so fast. And Brooke, for her part, seems to be enjoying it just as much.

“More, please, I need your mouth, fuck .” Brooke grabs Vanessa by the waist, holds her down with a firm grip that makes Vanessa’s skin burn with need.

And Vanessa can’t resist–she leans down, sucks a nipple into her mouth, swirls her tongue around it and grazes it with her teeth, reveling in each tiny gasp or moan the movements elicit from Brooke. And then Brooke’s hands are knotted in Vanessa’s hair, tugging just a little, spurring Vanessa on, and she’s completely gone, unable to hold back anymore.

“Lie back down.” Vanessa kisses her way across Brooke’s chest, darts her tongue over the blonde’s other nipple. “I wanna take care of you.”

“ Please. ”

Vanessa travels down the rest of Brooke’s body with an uncontrolled hunger, kissing and licking and nipping skin without knowing what it is, where her mouth is falling, because she doesn’t care. It’s not important, because no matter where her lips land, they’re on Brooke, and that’s all Vanessa needs.

“So wet.” Vanessa chuckles when she finally reaches Brooke’s hips, slides a hand between her legs to stroke along her slit. “Are you already that horny, baby? Already such a mess for me? Awww, that’s so cute.” Vanessa emphasizes the statement with a flick towards Brooke’s clit, grins when the blonde’s hips twitch in response.

“Please, Vanessa, please, just take them off–”

“Aw, but I’m having so much fun.” Vanessa pouts, resuming stroking over Brooke’s pussy through her panties, adding more pressure little by little. “Besides, I think you could be more desperate, don’t you?” Vanessa brings her fingers to Brooke’s clit, presses down and circles it lightly, and Brooke moans, shakes her head.

“Please, holy fuck, please…”

Well, the teasing was fun while it lasted.

Vanessa takes Brooke’s panties off slowly, one last bit of torture that makes her squirm and whine with impatience before Vanessa finally plants a kiss at the top of her slit, licks along it and around her folds.

“ Fuck ,” Vanessa moans up against Brooke’s cunt, making her shiver, “You taste so fucking good.”

Vanessa kitten-licks around her clit, finally sliding home with just the slightest flick of her tongue and smirking when it elicits a moan from Brooke, her hips bucking and hand once again snaking into Vanessa’s hair. It’s enough to make a flash of heat run through Vanessa’s whole body as she sucks a kiss on Brooke’s cunt, take her breath away as she licks a slow circle around it.

“God, you’re good at that.” Brooke lets out a breathless laugh as Vanessa continues to lap at her pussy, tease her clit.

“Hmm.” Vanessa hums, picking up her pace a little and feeling a surge of pride when Brooke goes rigid, whimpers and moans and presses Vanessa’s face closer.

“You want me to do even better, sweetheart?”

The idea comes to Vanessa’s mind in a split second, but it sticks there, seeming better and better with every heartbeat that pounds against her chest. She slides a hand away from its resting place on Brooke’s leg, trails it down her inner thigh, brings it to her entrance, and she knows in an instant she made the right choice, because Brooke is coming to life, her movements against Vanessa’s face suddenly frenetic and the grip in her hair getting that much tighter.

“Please, want your fingers, please…”

“How many?” Vanessa asks, although she’s already teasing at Brooke’s cunt with two fingers, waiting to push them inside.

“I can take three.”

God, this is gonna be fun .

Vanessa pushes inside with two fingers first, slow and shallow pumps to warm Brooke up and feel her out, find out what makes her tick. As it turns out, it’s easy to find Brooke’s spot–it’s nice and shallow, and the minute Vanessa hits it, Brooke moans, her legs trembling as Vanessa continues to suck at her clit, hooking her fingers over her spot to tease at it all the while. A few more kisses, a few more licks, and she pulls out just a little, adds a third finger amidst babbling pleas to hurry up, more, more, God, please, I need more.  

Vanessa’s always been relentless when topping, but Brooke is by far the most responsive girl she’s ever fucked, and it’s amazing, it really is, how loud she’s getting, how much she’s shaking, how hard she’s begging for Vanessa to make her come. And when she finally gets her wish, finally gets pushed over the edge with a final thrust, a final kiss over her clit, her moans are probably the most satisfying sounds Vanessa’s ever had the privilege of hearing. She licks and fucks Brooke through her orgasm, gradually decreasing her pace before pulling out, and when she finally comes back up, licks her fingers clean and pulls Brooke in for a kiss, Brooke is still shaking, still panting, still whispering.

“That was amazing, baby.” Brooke sighs, sated, as she settles back down on the bed, opening her arms for Vanessa to move in closer, nestle into her embrace. “You’re always so fucking good, you know that?”

“Why else would you marry me?” Vanessa winks, and Brooke laughs, plants a kiss on top of her head.

“I liked the stranger game though, it was fun.” Brooke smiles, her eyes twinkling, and fuck, Vanessa could stare at those eyes forever, she really could. Especially now that she’s revisited such an exciting time in her past, a time where she was seeing them for the first time.

“Play it again next week?” Vanessa suggests, and Brooke nods, smiling.

“It’s a date.”

[heystuckstuck]

doll parts part one

eridan ampora x reader

part one ==> HERE

part two ==> coming soon!!! <3

YOU ==> WAKE UP

You do. You are sprawled out on your own bed, which is soft, softer than anything you’ve slept on in awhile. You are lying on your stomach, your arms crooked under your pillow to support your head. This is the way you almost always sleep. Your phone dings to the left side of your head, and you blearily shift to your side to check it. It would appear that someone is trying to get ahold of you.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trollling chumHandle [CH]

CC: )(-Ey t)(-Er-E, Y/N!

CC: )(ow ar-E you f-E-Eling today?

CH: im feeling fairly pleasant atm

CH: just woke up

CH: you?

CC: I’m FINTASTIC!!!

CC: )(-E-E )(-E-E

CH: cute

CH: glad to see youre still doing the fish pun thing

CH: why exactly do you do it?

CC: I lik-E fish

CC: SO!!!

CH: :?

CC: ar-E you coming to my party tonight?

CC: I r-E-Elly hope so!

CH: shore

CH: ;)

CC: Aww )(-E-E )( -E-E!

CC: You us-Ed a fish pun

CC: )(ow glubbing cut-E!

CH: thank you, fef

CC: And don’t fr-Et!

CC: W-E’ll have som-Ebody watch out for you!

CC: So what )(app-En-Ed last tim-E won’t )(app-En again!

CH: …

CC: I’m sorry!

CC: I shouldn’t )(av-E brought it up

CC: 38(

CH: no, that’s ok

CH: it happened

CH: it’s okay to talk about it

CC: )(ow was it?

CH: how was what?

CC: T)(-E )(ospital?

CH: it was ok

CH: im totally better

CC: I’m sure as s)(-Ell glad to )(-Ear it!

CC: Sollux and the cr-Ew will b-E t)(-Er-E to pick you up

CH: the crew?

CC: I’m not shor-E who it’ll b-E but Sollux is driving a bunch of our fri-Ends ov-Er

CC: I asked )(im to pick you up too!

CC: 38)

CH: thanks feferi

CH: youre the best

CC: I c-Ertainly try

CC: T)(-Er-E’s no way to wink at you wit)( my -Emoticon

CC: So just picture t)(at in your )(-Ead

CH: ;)

chumHandle [CH] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling chumHandle [CH]

TA: y/n

CH: sollux

TA: thii2 ii2 gonna be a really weiird que2tiion

TA: plea2e don’t get mad

TA: but

TA: would you fuck ed

CH: what why

TA: becau2e seniior year is almo2t here and iif he doe2nt lo2e hii2 viirgiiniity before hii2 biirthday ii can’t be hii2 friiend anymore

CH: what makes you so sure he’s a virgin

TA: y/n

CH: fair point

TA: ii ju2t know that you have 2ome pretty lax 2tandard2

CH: are you calling me a “2lut”

CH: is that what’s happening right now

TA: god no

TA: ii ju2t wanna get the ba2tard laiid

CH: fine, i’ll do it

TA: y/n you are a 2aiint

TA: 2eriiou2ly

TA: nobody el2e would touch that ugly fucker with a ten foot pole

CH: you and i both know that eridan isn’t ugly

CH: he’s actually quite handsome

TA: god gro22

TA: ju2t thank you

TA: you’re doiing u2 all a favor really

TA: ed fuck2 you and then he’ll 2hut hiis fuckiing iidiiot mouth about not fuckiing anythiing

CH: how many times are you gonna say fuck

TA: fuck

CH: that’s fair

CH: yeah i’ll do it

TA: cool

TA: fiinger gun2

TA: ii’ll piick you up at 6

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling chumHandle [CH]

Sollux is there for you promptly at six o’clock. You’re standing on the curb, waiting for him, when his familiarly tiny rusty red car pulls up alongside you. The music is so loud you can hear it through the closed doors and when you glance in the passenger’s side window, Aradia gestures her thumb back behind her. She must’ve called shotgun, or maybe Sollux got her first. You open the door to the backseat and clamber inside.

Karkat is on the far end, smushed into the door. He looks as disagreeable as always but he offers you a softer-than-usual smile as he adjusts his traditional black t-shirt. Eridan, in between the two of you, looks far more uncomfortable. You notice the way he is desperately trying not to look at you and in retaliation, you put a soft hand on his thigh. He looks as though he might faint, cheeks flushed and forehead beaded with sweat. He doesn’t say anything to you, but Karkat does.

“Alright, Y/N?”

Yes. Why wouldn’t you be?

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

Karkat shrugs although from the hunch of his shoulders, you can tell he wants to argue. Everyone knows that he’s lying. You know he’s lying. You know why everybody wants to know if you’re alright. And frankly, it’s nobody’s fucking business.

Not even if they stroked your hair and whispered soft little nothings to you all the way to the emergency room. Not even then.

As you walk into the party, you notice a tall, slim figure posed at the front of the grand entrance hall. He’s smoking a cigarette and he has sunglasses on indoors. Dave Strider. He greets your friends casually but when he gets to you he falters and peers at you over the top of his shades.

“All better, Y/N?”

“Yes, I’m totally better. I eat almonds and yogurt and soup.” He nods curtly, but you can see the tension in his face. It would be difficult to miss, as difficult to miss as those reddish brown eyes of his. You remember the last time you saw them.

You were lying on your back with the left side of your face caked in vomit. Your limbs were seizing up and you wanted to scream but it was like your voice was invisible. Dave knelt over you, eyes as wide as saucers as he begged you to stay awake, please stay awake, oh god, what did you do, why did you do this, god no, please no, no no no no no nonononononononononono.

And you put your hand on his face and said, “Hello David.” Or tried to. You’re sure that what came out was a flubbed version.

“What did you take?” He’s begging you please tell him, tell him so he can get you to the hospital and they can pump your stomach, god please.

“13 valiums and a bottle of gin.” You try to tell him that you were just trying to float and stop your misery and stop the not eating and stop stop stop stop stop. But he can’t hear you. He screams out a feeble and watery Karkat and then you’re in a car with Karkat petting you and his mouth was moving but all you could hear were sirens. You wanted to sleep more than anything but Karkat kept shoving you awake and talking to you and telling you stories and begging you don’t go to sleep, no.

So you suppose if anyone has the right to ask you if you’re okay, it’s Dave, and you’d better tell him too. So you do, but you can tell that he doesn’t fully believe you, but to your relief, he leaves it.

The music is loud. It makes your ears numb. You see Feferi but you don’t go and say hi because she’s kissing Sollux on his mouth and tracing her fingers up his arm and you know you shouldn’t interrupt, so you don’t and push your way further through Feferi’s house. The lights are all pink and blue and hazy and you can’t see through the smoke in the air and you can taste the acrid tang of cigarettes in the back of your mouth, which makes it feel like cotton. You stumble and trip over something-someone lying on a beanbag on the floor, who doesn’t try to catch you when you fall into his bony chest.

“Well hey there, little sis, how’s it motherfuckin’ hangin’?” It’s Gamzee, with his dark, splotchy face and lazy looking eyes and dopey grin. He doesn’t help you up, the idea doesn’t even seem to occur to him. His eyes are bloodshot and his left hand’s slender fingers grip a short, lit blunt, which he offers to you.

“You want a hit?” Nobody except him in your friend group smokes pot. They drink and snort crushed up pills but they don’t smoke weed. You’ve tried it before, but only a few times. You didn’t like how it stung your throat and made you cough.

“Nah, that stuff makes you hungry.” That was your least favorite thing about it. The last time you smoked pot, you’d woken up naked on John’s couch with your hands and chest smeared in food goop and no memory of how it got there. You didn’t need that again. Gamzee doesn’t seem to mind, and just takes another drag.

“It’s no problem sis, more for me.” You watch him as he puffs on it again, noting the way the slight orange glow offsets the neon lights in the room.

“Anyway, chica, long time no see. How’s it been?” You shrug and Gamzee laughs.

“That’s so motherfuckin’ righteous, sister. Seriously, be all up and motherfuckin’ careful. Don’t want anything bad happening to you or anything.” You’re dumbstruck by the fact that Gamzee of all people, slow-witted, slow-reacting, oblivious, with a brain half-ruined y marijuana knows. God, how does Gamzee know?

“I saw you, all up and covered in that puke. Shit, y’know, it fuckin’ scared me. I love you and I don’t want you to die or anything. You were shaking and crying and everyone was all just sitting there, not knowing what to up and do. It was the opposite of a miracle. But maybe the fact that you’re not dead is a miracle and whatever god exists kept you alive for us. I’m motherfuckin’ happy about that. I’d miss you if you were dead. I think everybody would, even if they pretend they wouldn’t.”

Gamzee then punctuates his profound statement with a soft belch and he gives you a watery, peaceful smile, close-lipped, with his eyes shut. You return the smile, though yours is more strained than his because god just stop fucking talking about it.You get it. You don’t really want to be dead anymore but you wish everyone would stop reminding you of it. You want to forget as much as anybody else. You never wanted everyone to see you, shaking on the floor, eyes rolled up into the back of your head with foam oozing from between your lips all over your white tanktop, staining it pink. You want to forget. You want to forget Feferi screaming and and Sollux saying, hush, hush, FF, it’s okay, and Dave’s tears dribbling onto your face and getting into your mouth. They were salty on your numb tongue.

Gamzee’s hand begins to snake down the front of his sweatpants and you decide to leave before this gets awkward. You abandon Gamzee and trip on your way to the stairs, which you clamber up, on your way to Feferi’s second story bathroom. You don’t have to go, you just want to inspect Feferi’s mom’s medicine cabinet, see if she’s gotten anything new since the last time you were here, before. Before. Before you took John’s grandmother’s pills out of the kitchen and fell on the floor and Feferi screamed and Dave cried and Karkat crooned in your ear and you felt more loved than you ever had before, which was bullshit because of course everyone loves you when you try to die.

She doesn’t have anything new, you note with mild disappointment, pocketing some old pills that haven’t been touched since the last time you were here. You read the label before hiding them. Oxytocin. Pain pills. You shove it, along with your hands into your oversized maroon jacket, and just in time too, because the door you were certain you locked opens to your right. You turn and meet an abashed-looking Tavros, his face alcohol and embarrassment-flushed.

“Oh, I didn’t realize that anybody would be in here. I just needed to, um, well, yeah, you know.” He stumbles over his words and looks flustered, so you smile at him.

“Oh, that’s alright, I was just leaving.” You grab a tiny white paper cup, designed for mouthwash and fill it with water before exiting the bathroom, brushing past Tavros’s shoulder. He closes the door and you pull out the pills and take two with the shot of water you have. You aren’t addicted to popping pills, but it is an outstanding interest of yours. You wait a few minutes and then you feel fuzzy and it’s a bit like you’re walking on the ceiling as you trample down the hallway. You walk back down the stairs on watery legs, trying admirably not to fall on your face, which you don’t.

You walk to the kitchen, where Vriska is leaning with her back and elbows resting against the counter. Terezi and John are with her and you notice them eye you suspiciously as you open up all of the cabinets and count the cans inside.

“Hungry?” John asks, voice shaking a little bit. You remember seeing him, driving the car, speeding down the freeway, pedal to the metal. He kept frantically glancing back at you, blue eyes enormous, even more so than usual. Hs too-large front teeth were worrying his bottom lip and his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel. You know why his voice is shaking. You’re starting to get tired of this.

“No.”

“What’re you doing then?”

“Counting.”

“Okay,” he says, sounding uneasy. God, why can’t people just stop being fucking worried about you? Why does John have to quirk his perfectly arched and adorable eyebrows at you like that? Why does he have to bite his lip and why does goddamn Vriska of all people look worried about you? You know perfectly well the reason why, but you don’t care. You don’t care that they all saw you. That everyone knows. You couldn’t care less.

You exist through the backdoor in the kitchen because you need some air, jesus. You can’t stand the way they all look at you, with such pity and fear. It was a mistake and you’ll never live it down because you scared everybody shitless. You take a deep breath of untainted air and somebody sighs right after you exhale. What the hell?

“What the hell?” You glance around and huddled at your feet is Eridan, his floral short-sleeve button down too tight in the arms. He’s wearing slacks too, which is such an Eridan thing to do and you are filled with an overwhelming surge of affection toward your friend. This is all he is, your friend. Your friend that might fuck you later, according to Sollux.

You flop down next to him. He doesn’t react, just takes a long sip from his red plastic cup. It’s probably beer, which you’re sure upsets his sensitive palette but he’s actively not complaining in dramatic, emotional theatrics for once so you don’t question it.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“What’re you doing out here, ‘Dan?”

“Everywhere else was full.” It’s true. All of your friends are rambunctiously partying in every corner of Feferi’s party. Except the bedrooms, you suppose. But maybe Feferi and Sollux have already made their way there, you know they will eventually and Feferi will call you tomorrow and tell you all about it. You know every detail of her sex life. She knows every detail of yours and while you are always supportive, sometimes she frowns at you and shakes her head.

“Ah.”

You’re both silent for awhile, the only sounds being of your breath and Eridan sipping his beer solemnly and yet, delicately. Feferi has a trampoline in her backyard and you haven’t jumped around and just had fun in god knows how long so you get up and offer your hand to Eridan. He accepts, although with a cocked eyebrow, and his hand still firmly in yours, you guide him to the trampoline.

“Really, Y/N? You wanna play on the goddamn trampoline? That’s fairly, just, it’s juvenile, don’t you think?”

“Yes, absolutely.” And you take off your shoes and fling your body onto the black netting and bounce a few times. Eridan hesitantly follows you.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Let them. We’re young and you’re drunk and I want to fly,” you say, leaping into the air and coming down with a spring. Eridan doesn’t jump at first, not until you grab his sleeve and tug on it and oh, Danny, I’m having so much fun, I’m flying, this is like the fucking Notebook, I’m a fucking bird, tell me I’m a bird like the Notebook. You’re laughing hysterically at yourself and Eridan is fucking giggling at you and then he starts jumping too and you dance in circles with only the soundtrack of summer cicadas to keep a melody. You grab his hands and his fingers twine with yours and suddenly he’s falling and you’re bouncing your back against the trampoline, narrowly avoiding hitting your head as Eridan lands on top of you and bounces off but only after squishing the life out of you.

You’re laughing so hard no sound is coming out and you’re gasping and so is he and you grab his hand from where he’s laying beside you.

You look up at the stars. You haven’t seen the stars in over six weeks. You missed them.

“So, how are you, Y/N? I’m sure sorry that I couldn’t come an’ visit you.” You do the best shrug you can while lying down.

“Nobody was allowed to visit me, except in the ER.”

“Still, I should’ve come. Fef went. John went.”

“They’re the only ones that did.”

“Really?” His voice is incredulous.

“Everyone texted. Until I had to go to the psych ward. Then I wasn’t allowed texts anymore.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You don’t want to be sad anymore so you change the subject.

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to fuck me later?” He chokes, a loud spluttering cough, and jerks up to lay on his arm, staring down at you.

“What?!”

“Sollux told me that you were going to.”

“God, oh fuck, he told me-he-he said-he told me you didn’t know!”

“I know.”

“Well, I know that now!”

“It’s okay. If you want to, I’m okay with it.”

“Okay with what?”

“You fucking me.”

His face flared red, which was a feat in and of itself because his skin was soft brown. He looked beautiful in the starlight: his eyes, a gorgeous golden-hazel with long, dark lashes, his nose sturdy and strong, his lips fairly thick and soft and most especially the freckle he had, on the left corner of his bottom lip. His hair fell in his face, dark brown and highlighted by a thick bleached streak in the front. He wasn’t just pretty, not just beautiful, he was gorgeous. You wouldn’t mind snagging his virginity. Not one bit.

“I don’t think-I mean-well-I-I-I want to but I just think that maybe we should wait on that.”

“Okay,” you say, staring into his eyes, fighting down a pang of disappointment, “But if Sollux asks, you can say you did.”

His eyes narrow a bit and then he’s nervously looking at anything but you.

“But I wanted to know. Could you, maybe-I don’t-just-kiss me?” You smile, a full grin with teeth showing an everything.

“Yes, Eridan.”

And then you get up to your knees and pull him up to meet you and your lips are together and his lips are soft, a bit firmer than you imagined, and they’re clumsy and he accidentally clips your teeth together. You wrap an arm over his shoulder and he puts his hands at your small waist, pressing on your hips with his fingertips. You reach your other hand down and take his. You guide it over your breast and his whole body stiffens. His fingers begin to itch around and grope at the soft flesh under his hand and you slip your lips down to his neck. He makes a noise that is a cross between a purr and a croon and you push him down beneath you. The two of you break apart and he stares up at you, fingers touching his swollen bottom lip like he can’t believe what just happened. You realize suddenly that you just bagged his first kiss. You gently kiss his cheek and roll off of his abdomen.

When you wake up in the morning, you’re inside on the couch with Eridan spooned up behind you. A shirtless Equius lays across the floor with Nepeta’s head on his belly. Terezi’s legs are sprawled across her chest. Everyone else is still asleep but you can feel Eridan start to stir behind you. He nuzzles into the crook of your neck and mumbles a quiet good morning into the skin.

“Morning.”

“Mm.”

“Eridan?”

“Hm?”

“Your stiffy’s digging into my back.”

“M’sorry.”

“S’okay.”

[mikes-on-prometheus]

Patton is unwell. Virgil takes care of his best friend. (for @youtuberswithalex)

Platonic moxiety

Read on Ao3 and the indirect prequel

Wordcount: about 900

Warnings: sickness, headache, nausea/vomit mention

---

When Virgil entered the commons that day it was empty and still. This, normally, would not be too surprising except that it was noon.

Noon in Thomas’ mindscape usually meant lunch time, a meal consumed communally because Patton cared about Quality Family TimeTM and everyone else - yes, even Logan, no matter how much he liked to deny it - felt guilty for not showing up because Patton always got sad whenever their family wasn’t all together for lunch.

But Patton not even being in the kitchen at noon? Chances of that happening were pretty much infinitesimal, even with Thomas’ chaotic and stressful schedule.

So where was he? The most likely place was probably his room right?

But before Virgil could go hunting for Patton he felt obligated to prepare a couple of sandwiches, putting a plate full of them in front of Logan’s, then Roman’s door. Previous experience told him those two wouldn’t eat at all if they weren’t reminded of it. To avoid interaction he just knocked, waiting for the telltale shuffle behind the door that meant its occupant was coming for the door. Then he booked it.

With feeding time over he grabbed some sandwiches for him and Patton to share, then he headed back up to the bedrooms, knocking at the moral side’s door.

He knocked again after a few moments when he didn’t hear anything. “Patton? It’s Virgil. Can I come in?”

There was a tiny little noise after that but he couldn’t for the life of him say what it was.

“I’m gonna come in okay?” he announced, waiting a bit to give Patton time to tell him to stay out but that warning didn’t come.

So Virgil went in and found out why Patton hadn’t been in the kitchen. He was in bed, blanket pulled up to his neck. Seeing this he dismissed lunch for the time being, leaving the plate on Patton’s desk.

“Hey Patton? You good there, Buddy?” He asked, placing a hand on the other’s shoulder and giving it a tiny, gentle shake. This got a response. Not a big one but still a response.

Patton let out a little groan, grabbing the edge of his blanket and pulling it closer to his face.

“Patton, c’mon, man. Wake up please.” He gave Patton’s shoulder another little shake.

“Leave me ‘lone. ‘M sick.” Patton insisted as if that would actually make Virgil worry less.

“What’s wrong? What’s hurting, Pat? Tell me please?”

“Urgh, not sure. Just - headache, nausea. Threw up earlier.”

“A migraine perhaps?”

“Dunno.”

“Okay. I guess it doesn’t really matter now.” Virgil admitted, brushing his hand through Patton’s hair, smoothing it back and off the sweaty forehead.

Did Patton have a fever? It could be, right? He was sweating quite a bit there but it was hard to tell for Virgil who ran cold naturally.

A dim, hazy memory surfaced and he acted upon it, leaning down to press his lips to Patton’s forehead. He didn’t seem very warm. A little cool - clammy - actually. An actual thermometer would probably give clearer answers but Virgil didn’t know where it was and he didn’t think it was necessary to go searching for it if he could spend that time comforting Patton instead.

He still had to leave the other side alone for a bit while he went to get him some things to help ease the pain though.

With a heavy heart Virgil left Patton behind, getting some pain medication, lavender essential oil, a bottle of water and a washcloth. He tried to get back as soon as he could but by the time he did, Patton was already asleep again so he had to annoy him into wakefulness again which almost broke his damn heart. Patton made such an upset noise it actually hurt.

“I know you’re not feeling well but I got you some stuff to help with the headache. Do you want me to close the curtains? Is the light hurting you?” He asked, carefully helping Patton sit up before handing him the water bottle with a soft order to drink some while he closed the curtains just in case. In the time it took him to do so Patton had managed to take a sip of his water.

“Here, I brought you some pain killers. And do you wanna try this lavender stuff? I could massage it into your temples, it might help with your headache.” He offered, holding out both items for Patton to see.

“Hmm. ‘Kay. Don’t like lavender though.” Patton mumbled, pawing at Virgil’s left hand to push away the little bottle of lavender oil.

“Okay. Okay, that’s fine! Here, take two of these pills. Do you wanna try a cold cloth? I brought one along just in case. I also brought some food if you’re up to it and not… y’know. Nauseous anymore.”

“No food. But the cloth sounds nice, kiddo.”

Virgil gave him a smile and waited until Patton had taken his pills before he went to the en-suite bathroom to dampen the cloth. Once he returned he helped Patton lay back down and placed the cloth over his friend’s eyes and forehead after tucking him in.

“You should try to sleep some more. Want me to stay? If not I’ll check on you in a couple hours. Sorry I woke you in the first place, I know you’re not feeling well.”

“Stay please? ‘Least til I fall asleep?”

“Okay, sure, don’t worry. I can stay. Sleep now, I got you.”

“Thanks for taking care of me, Verge.”

“Of course, Patton. Always.”

---

Taglist:  @3-has-charm @adreamisadishyourmommakes @analogical-mess @bubbliee0 @iris-sanders-athena @letthefandomsbegin @emthetimelady @ilovereadingandilovebreathing @stormcrawler75 @soulwillriseinperfectlight

[hyunsracha]

alone with you — bang chan

word count: 1.8k

summary: unfortunately, you were a bit of a living cliche.

you weren’t a fan of classic romance tropes

star-crossed lovers, bad and good kids, enemies to lovers, etc.

you thought they were stupid and cheesy and- who even falls in love with their enemy?

unfortunately, you were a bit of a living cliche

you weren’t exactly a good kid, you just didn’t like getting bad grades

being at the top of your class didn’t make you a good kid, okay? you..you were edgy!

right,,,,anyway!

since you were a good kid, you were obviously head over heels for….

that’s right! a bad boy

and he was your best friend! even better!

you met chris when you were in 6th grade, after he punched a kid in the nose for calling you ugly

“i just felt like punching someone and he has a punchable face...i didn’t do it for you...WHY are you smiling at me like that???”

you’ve been thick as thieves for the past 6 years

but were you close with the rest of his friends? not really

he had 8 others he kept in his inner circle, and they were all like him

leather jackets under white t-shirts, black jeans and black high tops, you get it!

some of them even sucked on lollipops during school, they liked being That stereotypical

i’m looking at u jisung

jeongin had suggested that they smoke to seem cool and edgy but he got a whack on the head from woojin so that didn’t happen

chris’s friends liked to call you a square as an insult, like you lived in the fucking 40s or something

but! you couldn’t get rid of them!

they fucking followed chris everywhere like little puppies!

“what are you guys doing here -___-”

“well chris is here so we’re here too!!”

“can you leave?”

“why would we do that?”

it was kind of exhausting

as much as you Liked chris, you just wanted to hang out with him as a friend :((

and you tried! many times! to ask him to hang out, just the two of you :(

but his boys always showed up and made it 10

like one time, you guys were at a cafe by your school, just drinking hot chocolates and talking

you guys had a seat by the window...you had said it was because you wanted to feel the sun on you

but you actually just liked how pretty chris’s eyes looked when the sun hit them :(

then you heard knocking on the window

“goddamn- what do you guys want?”

“CHRIS MY MAN!! HOW'S IT GOING :DDD” jisung had yelled through the window

changbin pulled on his arm, dragging him towards the front door where everyone else was heading

you had sighed

of course they had to come and ruin things :(

but chris didn’t seem to mind, so it was whatever ://

you actually didn’t mind his friends that much, it was just that you couldn’t get rid of them

chris would walk you to your classes, and the rest of his lil gang would follow behind

even jeongin. who was like two grades below and his classes were on the top floor

one night, you were watching tv in the living room

it was disney channel

moana was on! were you just gonna ignore the opportunity to watch moana?

no!

your parents were out at one of their fancy business dinners or whatever, you weren’t really listening

so you were alone

and it was fine, you were alone all the time at home, but this time … something felt off?

like it was a friday night, and you were watching movies with snacks and blankets and everything was so soft and warm

what was missing?

your parents? no, you were fine without them

but it was Someone...you just felt like you needed Someone

you were lonely

of course you wanted chris, but you would’ve taken anybody who wanted to hang out with you

and behold, there was a knock on your door!

you leaped up, basically sprinting to the door

it could’ve been your 50 something year old neighbor, but if it was someone to talk to 

then !!!!!

you flung the door open, your eyes widening at the sight

your best friend, mr chris bang, his head hung low, his hands clasped behind his back

“hi channie...what’s up? where are the others?”

he just walked in, heading to your bathroom

d-did he just show up at your house to pee?

he left the door open CHRIS CLOSE THE DOOR WHEN U-

“where’s your first aid kit?”

“what?”

“first aid kit. y’know, bandaids and shit?”

“why?”

“i need some fucking first aid, y/n, why else would i ask? for funsies?”

“ok dickhead.” you walked into the bathroom, grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink

then you got a look at his hands and his face

his knuckles were cut up and covered in blood

and he had a cut on his lip, and a few on his cheek

...how was he still so pretty?

wrong time y/n, but ur thoughts are valid!

“christopher.”

“my name isn’t christo-”

“chan.”

“it’s literally just chr-”

“chanstopher.”

“what the fuck”

“what happened to you?”

“i…i fell down the stairs?”

“chris,” you pushed his shoulder down, pushing him to sit on the toilet seat, “i thought you said you wouldn’t fight anymore.”

“i haven’t been fighting, i swear it! this guy just annoyed me.”

“what did he say?”

“just shit about my mom.”

you nodded.

you knew from years of friendship that chris really loved his mom.

his dad split when he was little, and it really messed his mom up.

she was still working on making herself better again, so chris basically raised his little sister by himself.

you sighed, pulling out a cotton pad and wiping away some of the blood on his hands

“babe, you didn’t need to fight him. i mean yeah, he was being a dick but, you didn’t need to get hurt over it.”

“what did you just call me?”

your face flushed

“babe! like . the pig?”

“did you just call me a pig...babe?”

“ALRIGHT let’s get you cleaned up hahaha!”

you cleaned up his wounds, listening to chris hum

it was probably a song that he was working on with changbin and jisung

you always thought that chris was super talented, and that he could have a career in music

but he didn’t want that

whenever you asked about his plans for the future, he would just smile

“i’ll go wherever you go.”

“i mean like...for a job.”

“i’ll figure it out.”

you wrapped up his hands, your fingers bumping along his burning skin

chris was very affectionate, so you were no stranger to his skin

but every time you two touched, you still burned

you don’t really remember when you started liking chris

maybe it was when he punched that kid for calling you ugly

or maybe it was in 8th grade when he nervously asked you if you wanted to dance at your first school dance

or maybe it was in 9th grade when he showed up at your house to take you to homecoming.

you still remember the look on his face when he saw you all dressed up

“you- you’re so pretty.”

“what was that?”

“i said you look okay. let’s go, doofus.”

you stood from your crouching position, extending a hand for him to take

“i think moana’s still on...do you wanna stay for a little bit?”

you would never get over his brilliant smile

you two wrapped yourselves up on the couch, your legs draped over his lap

his hand rested on your thigh, absentmindedly tracing shapes into your skin, making you shiver

“so…,” you started after a while, “why aren’t the others here?”

“oh...i told them to fuck off.” his cheeks were red as he kept his eyes on the tv, refusing to look at you

“what? why?”

he didn’t respond, choosing instead to mumble about how he wanted to watch mulan after moana was over

“channie?”

he sighed, rolling his head back, “you’re the only person i wanna see right now. i don’t wanna deal with the guys or my mom or even my sister. only you.”

“was that supposed to be nice? i’m the only person you can Deal With.” you kicked at his leg

“hey! i Am being nice!”

“no! be actually nice to me for once!”

“i punch guys for you ALL THE TIME”

“that’s not nice you idiot”

“they say creepy things about you!”

“my hero.” you kicked his leg again, unable to keep the smile off your face

chris kind of had that effect on you

“okay fine. want me to be actually nice to you?”

“yes please”

“okay. you have the prettiest smile i’ve ever seen.”

“o-okay t-thank-”

“and the prettiest eyes. and the prettiest hair. and the prettiest everything. you’re so fucking pretty, you know that? i’ve always thought that. your heart is pretty, too. you’re so nice and genuine and you cleaned up my stupid cuts at god knows what time it is.”

“y-you’ve been nice enough now-”

“you’re everything to me. i don’t know where i would be if it wasn’t for you and your pretty eyes and pretty voice telling me that i’m better than this. god i….y/n i think i’m in love with you.”

a moment of silence

“no, i don’t think. i know.”

your heart was caught in your throat and you couldn’t breathe

“a-are you drunk?”

your voice cracked

smooth

“i drove here.”

“so?”

he slapped your thigh

“dick. do you think that lowly of me?”

there he was, looking at you, all pouty eyes and pouty lips, just telling you he was in love with you and then acting like nothing happened!

well, here’s your chance, y/n

take it

you took a deep breath, gathering all the courage you could from the air around you before slowly leaning into him

his eyes widened when he realized what you were doing, but then he closed his eyes and followed your lead.

you would never get over how you felt once his lips touched yours; fire.

the same heat you felt when he touched you, just on the inside

your insides were burning in the most painfully enjoyable way.

you pulled away first.

“okay, christopher.”

“that’s still not-”

“chan.”

“just call me-”

“chanstopher.”

“i don’t even know where that came from.”

“if you wanna be with me-”

“i do.”

“let me talk. if you wanna be with me, no more fights, okay? i don’t care if they’re talking bad about your mom, or your sister, or your boys. no asshole is worth you getting hurt like this, yeah?” you grabbed his hands, running your thumbs over his bandages

“what if they’re talking about you?”

“not worth it. no asshole is worth your pain, chris.”

“fine. i won’t fight anymore.”

“and tell your friends to fuck off more often. i like being alone with you.”

chris chuckled, a sound that make your heart scream.

“can do, babe.”

[solange-lol]

More Than This

Summary: Five times Will and Nico acted like they weren’t flirting and one time they stopped pretending

Words: 4,409

Nico di Angelo Birthday Event  - Day 3/4

Read on Ao3

I. 

It was an argument with his father that had Nico approaching a breakfast place called Naomi’s at 8:30 on a Saturday morning.

The argument itself was irrelevant. Something about how Nico needed to get out more. Somehow he found himself a job, despite the fact that his father said “getting out” doesn’t mean “getting a job.” Anyway, it was better than texting Jason Grace for the first time in four months if he wanted to “hang out.”  

As soon as Nico stepped inside the restaurant, he realized he had no clue what he was doing. The overall atmosphere was fine, pretty homey and cozy. But the people. God, where did all of these people even come from? Their town wasn’t even that big. The noise level was so different from the echoing hallways of Nico’s too-big-and-too-empty house (mansion, really, but he never liked that word). It was a little overwhelming, to say the least.

“You can sit wherever,” a boy with the biggest blonde curls Nico has ever seen speed walked past him, two menus and a plate with half-eaten pancakes clutched in his hands.

Nico had no idea how to respond, and when he tried to the only thing that came out was “uhhhh.”

The boy turned back around, grimacing with annoyance for a split second until his eyes met Nico’s. The Italian couldn’t help but to deeply inhale for a second in an attempt to remain calm. Was it even possible for eyes to be that blue? Holy granola, this guy is beautiful. His thoughts were interrupted by the blonde shaking his head like he was trying to clear his mind.

“Oh god, I’m sorry Nico,” he said with a softer smile. How does this kid know his name? “I haven’t had coffee yet. I’m a little out of it. Follow me.”

They walked behind the counter together, passing different areas dedicated to different necessities. Coffee, water, other drinks, and refills for salt and sugar. All while the blonde kid was gesturing wildly, giving brief explanations on the do’s and don’ts and sipping his sock monkey mug of freshly-made coffee. Nico groaned internally, thinking about how he’ll have to learn all these new rules. God knew he had the memory of a packing peanut. It’s so much easier to bullshit your way through life than to spend hours learning all the new ways of the world, but he had a feeling that wasn’t exactly the way it worked in a restaurant.

They approached an older-looking woman who seemed even more exhausted than the blonde. However, her smile was warm and welcoming as they approached closer.

“You must be Nico,” she said, amber eyes twinkling. Nico immediately noted she was probably Naomi. “You came at the perfect time.” The woman glanced out at the crowd of people. “Though, I assume Will still has much to teach you, so don’t let me stop you.” The blonde nodded accordingly. Nico added another mental note that this guy must be Will.

Without another word, Will started walking, Nico on his heels. They walked past the stove area (“Always say excuse me walking past here if a chef is at work. You do not want to make the same mistake I did”), the toast area (“That’s usually my job, but make a good impression and you might get your shot”), and where to get the ice (“The scooper is made of metal, so never leave it in with the ice or you will definitely regret it). He went pretty quickly past the dishwashing area, and explained later that “the dishwasher only speaks Spanish, and she can drive you crazy pretty quickly.” (It took Nico a few minutes to figure out that Will was referring to the woman who washes dishes, not the actual appliance itself).

Will lead him through western-style double doors and walked over to a large wooden cabinet. “This is the bus station,” Will explained. “As long as none of the waitresses need you to get water, or someone needs you to dry silverware, you’ll be spending most of your time back here.” He opened a few drawers, pointing to silverware and napkins and how to arrange them. There were some buckets on the side, which Will explained was where they would put dirty dishes after scraping them. Once it was pretty full, you were supposed to bring it back to be washed. (It was all going in one ear and out the other this point, which was, admittedly, not ideal). Will then opened another drawer for personal belonging for bussers. Nico shrugged off his jacket and stuffed it in.

As Will led them to a door, he talked about some of the other bussers that worked there. Octavian, who wasn’t kind in the slightest; however, he was a pretty good employee when it came to doing his job. He was the one who Nico would probably be working with most often, which was a little scary. The other one was named Kayla, who was a friend of Will’s and secondhand adopted by Naomi. However, she only ever worked Sunday’s, so unless they really needed Nico there, it was unlike he was ever going to meet her.

The door brought them outside. Cold air hit Nico like a wall, and he immediately missed the comfort of his jacket. “Unfortunately this is the only way back here,” Will was visibly shivering as he led them to a back room off of the building. It was lined with shelves, which had boxes of pancake, waffle, and oatmeal, as well as other breakfast food and supplies. There was a refrigerator full of milk and other dairy products, and another for fruits and vegetables.

“Pretty self-explanatory. You’ll only have to go back here if one of the servers or my mother asks you for something.”

Nico cocked his head. “Your mother?”

“Yeah… this is my family’s restaurant,” Will gave him a weird look. “You must be the only kid in the entire junior year who doesn’t know that.”

Now it was Nico’s turn to give him a weird look. Do they…

“Are you telling me you didn’t know we go to the same school?” Nico panicked for a second internally, thinking he had offended Will until laughter bubbled out of him.

“Geez, di Angelo. I heard rumors about you being in English IV as a junior, so I never would have assumed you were so dense,” he said between chuckles.

“I- How did you know I’m in English IV?”

Will shrugged. “Remember when everyone found out Drew was in AP bio in freshman year?” (He did not). “That’s not really a good example since people were surprised Drew even had a brain, though she’s actually pretty cool. Anyway, word gets around, y’know?”

Nico nodded despite the fact that he had no idea what they were talking about anymore. He was pretty fixed the dusting of freckles across Will’s nose. Eventually, his eyes wandered back up to Will’s, who was promptly staring at him. Both boys blushed. Will switched his gaze to a box full of syrup bottles.

“We should probably go help out. I’m sure my mom will find her way back here if we don’t go back soon,” Will said, still not looking at Nico. Before Nico could curse silently at himself for making it awkward, he gave the Italian a smile. “C’mon, I’ll go teach you how to set a table.”

(He already taught him that.) (It’s okay, Nico doesn’t mind learning again.)

II.

It was a few weeks after Nico’s first day. When he walked into Naomi’s that Saturday, it had been a clear morning. Almost warm, if mid-fifties was considered warm. Waitresses and customers were smiling and cheery, glad for the nice day in the midst of their December chill.

However, by the time 2:00 rolled around, the weather had changed drastically. The wind had seriously picked up, and the taps of rain were slowly drilling their way through Nico’s brain. Not to mention Octavian was getting on his nerves. He had an urge to lock him in one of the bathrooms.

Will was the only one keeping his sanity at bay. When Nico wasn’t clearing a table or Will wasn’t under too much toast-induced pressure, he usually found himself leaning against the counter. They tried to make up games to entertain each other without receiving a disapproving stare from Naomi. (Nico wasn’t really sure if she was capable of looking mean, but he trusted Will’s word. Mother-son relationships and all that). None of them lasted very long, but they were able to get a laugh out of it most of the time.

It was bizarre, actually, that this is the only time Nico can remember spending with Will. He doesn’t recall having any classes with him in the past (though the past two years were a blur of anxiety and hazy conversations). They never had colliding friend groups. It was sort of amazing how they were still able to meet through doing something Nico never would have considered doing, not to mention the fact it was prompted by an argument with his father.

Nico was putting up chairs while Will turned off the open signs when Naomi walked over to him with a stack of bills in her hand. “Thank you so much for your hard work today,” she said with that same warm smile. “I’m glad you and Will have been getting along.”

Nico nodded, smiling as well. “Thank you,” was all he said as he took the money. He felt bad taking it; he really didn’t need it. It was clear running a restaurant wasn’t easy, not to mention the other employees she had to pay. It was either have to hire and pay all these people or exhaust yourself trying to do it all. Even this minimum wage salary felt like he was taking a lot from her.

On his way out the door, Will stopped him. “Nico, it is 35 degrees and raining. Where is your jacket.”

Oh. He didn’t bring a jacket since the day started out so nicely. His work shirt was already long sleeve, so he didn’t think about it too much. He should be fine walking home. It wasn’t too far anyway. However, when he told him that, Will wasn’t settled.

“Do you have someone who can pick you up? I really don’t like the idea of you going out in the rain like that.” Nico could feel his cheeks heating up. He hoped he could blame it on the cold air that was seeping under the crack of the door. He’s only truly known Will for a few short weeks (though it’s felt like years), his little-but-growing crush on the teen seemed childish and honestly pathetic, at least to him. So he just shook his head at the question, not sure how to respond.

Will mumbled to himself about giving him a ride but still needing to mop the floors. He turned to Nico, caring eyes studying his face before he shrugged off his own jean jacket, then held it out.

Nico took it, staring confused at Will. “I just don’t watch you to catch a cold,” he said, tucking a curl behind his ear. “Can’t have my best employee dying of a disease.”

“I wouldn’t call getting a cold ‘dying of disease,’” Nico said, rolling his eyes before looking down at the jacket in his hands as he tried to ignore the skeletal butterflies in his stomach.  “But… thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Will said with a grin.

On the walk home, Nico noticed all the little pins on his jacket. Some of them were references he didn’t understand, and others were just cool designs he’s pretty sure he’s seen at Hot Topic. And ah, there was a piece of ribbon safety pinned next to them all that just so happened to be the bi flag. There's no way that can be an accident. They were being handed out in various flag colors at the activities fair at the beginning of the year for their school’s GSA club. (Nico made Hazel grab him an ace one). And now that he knew Will went to their school...

Good to know.

III.

On the first Saturday of December, Nico walked in late. About a half hour, which usually was early for him if this was some sort of social event. Unfortunately, work was work, and you were expected to show up on time no matter what. Which explained why everyone was lined up behind the counter, watching him as he walked through. (Even though there were only two people there because who in their right mind gets up early on a Saturday?)

It was probably a coincidence. It was where all the stoves were, and all the waitresses spent free time behind there gossiping anyway. It didn’t make it any less intimidating though. One of the waitresses eyed him warily while the other just gave a sympathetic shrug. Maybe they could see the exhaustion in his face. Or maybe they just pitied him. Probably both.

Naomi was giving off the most mixed emotions of them all. She kept her voice level and usually-warm face clear of emotion when she said hello, but her eyes read like she either wanted to lecture him or hug him.

He took his walk of shame all the way to the bussers station. Immediately, Will stepped through the kitchen’s double doors, travel cups of coffee in each hand. He shoved one of them in Nico’s hands, who gratefully took a sip.

“What kind of coffee is this?” he asked, trying to ignore the fact that he just burned his tongue. It was sweeter compared to Nico’s usual black-with-an-unhealthy-amount-of-sugar cup, however, very enjoyable. “And what’s with the glasses?”

“Vanilla cappuccino. Snatched the last cup out from under Octavian’s nose. And shut up,” Will’s face heated up, reaching up to adjust the frames that rested on the bridge of his nose, and Nico cursed internally. They were flatter on the top, though round at the bottom with the glass exposed. They made him look like a Pinterest model. He was beautiful. “I didn’t have time to put in my contacts this morning.”

Nico just snorted, relieved that he refused to step foot out of the house in the case he was forced to wear his own glasses. He had gotten enough taunting from Jason and Leo that they made him look like an anime character; no way he was going to get Will in on that as well.

“I made you coffee even though you’re late. I don’t deserve this bullying,” Will was still muttering to himself. “Why were you late anyway?” he asked Nico.

Nico sighed. “Argument with my dad. He’s worried about my future or something. Says studying liberal arts won’t get me anywhere in life, which is just typical coming from the businessman in his soul.”

“Let me guess: he wants you to go into business and management so you can take over his company one day?”

“How did you guess?”

Will sighed, leaning on the counter. “My mom is the exact same way. She wants me to inherit this restaurant and keep the family line-thing going, but I don’t have the passion she does. Plus William’s doesn't exactly have the same ring to it.”

“Is there something else you want to do?”

Will smiled bashfully at the question, rubbing the back of his neck.“It’s dumb and I probably won’t get to because medical school is, like, hell or something, but I want to be a pediatric doctor. Or maybe a trauma surgeon, I dunno. I think the only reason she’d let me go for it is because I gave a woman here CPR once.”

“Wait, really?” Nico regarded him with wide eyes.

Will looked surprised at Nico’s sudden interest. “I mean, yeah, it was no big deal. She lived,” he said, cheeks flushing.

“No big deal? That’s way cool. Will, you saved someone’s life. And-” Nico continued hesitantly. “I think that sounds awesome. You would make an amazing doctor.”

Will smiled. “Y’think?”

“I know.”

IV.

“You are doing a terrible job.”

“Well, I’m going faster than you are.”

“At least mine are actually dry. Isn’t that the objective here?”

“Well, you're avoiding my question!”

Will rolled his eyes. “Nico, I am not having an argument with you about what the best One Direction song is.” He finished drying the spoon in his hand, placing it in his side of the carrier. It was a slow Saturday, and Naomi had put the two of them in charge of washing and drying silverware. Every time they seemed to be close to finishing, she would throw more into the bucket.

“It’s not an argument. It’s just…. Friendly debate.” Nico shrugged as he picked up another knife.

“Can you please actually dry this one?”

(Will’s side was looking dryer than Nico’s, but what was the point? By the time they finished, all the silverware would basically be dry anyway).

“I will if you answer my question.”

Will huffed. “Fine. But I only know the first three albums.”

“Great. Those are the only good ones anyway. Plus you can tell me your favorite from each.”

Will stared at the ceiling in thought for a second. “God, let me think. Uh, Up All Night was the first album, right.” Nico nodded. “Well, then it’s gotta be One Thing.”

Nico wrinkled his nose. “Too mainstream. Gotta Be You is the way to go.”

“You do realize that is more mainstream that One Thing.”

“Yeah, well, it’s catchier.”

Will just shook his head in defeat. “Well, then you have to at least admit that Kiss You is the best from their second album.”

Again, Nico contraindicated. “Geez, fake fan. I can name at least three others that are better.”

“Oh really? Go ahead.”

Nico decided to ignore the fact that Will’s face was inching closer to his. He away. willed the heat in his cheeks. “Rock Me, Over Again, and Nobody Compares.”

“Those are all incredibly cheesy.” Their noses nearly brushed, and Nico’s mind was going haywire with Will towering over him like this. He really hoped Naomi didn’t have any more silverware for them, because he really wants to kiss Will right now. (Yes, the timing would be horrible. But Nico wasn’t thinking about that right now. Not with Will’s blue eyes glancing from Nico’s lips back up to his eyes like that.)

“And you’re saying Kiss You isn’t?” He could count Will’s freckles from here.

“I’m just saying-”

But Nico didn’t hear the end of that sentence, because his ears picked up an all-too-familiar voice from the dining area. Immediately, whatever mood was between them was forgotten.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Nico mumbled.

“No, I really-”

“Not you!” Nico waved Will off. His hurt expression made Nico’s heart sink, but he really needed to make sure it wasn’t who he thought it was. The Italian raced through the western-style doors. Immediately, he cringed at the sight.

His father, looking like Death himself, chatting lightly with Naomi at the front of the diner. His face was unreadable like usual; when he caught sight of Nico, he merely blinked. No wave, not even a nod. Typical.

By this point, Will had caught up to Nico; the blonde followed his gaze to the front. “Who-?”

“That,” Nico inhaled deeply. “-Is my father.”

Before Will could respond, Nico walked over to him, now seated by himself at a table meant for four right next to the fireplace. Nico winced at how expensive his father looked compared to the diner. It was sorta embarrassing, and Nico was praying neither of the Solace’s would notice.

“Dad,” Nico started, trying to keep his cool. “What are you doing here?”

His father regarded him with a blank stare. “Supporting local business, I believe. I’ve heard the corned beef hash is amazing here.”

(Nico knew for a fact that his father would never order corned beef hash.)

Before he could contradict, he noticed one of the waitresses walked towards them, and quickly headed back to the busser station

***

“Nico, you’re father left the biggest tip I have ever seen a person leave here,” Will announced, following the Italian through the back door. Naomi had asked him to go grab another box of oatmeal, and he gladly agreed before his father could do something embarrassing. Unfortunately for him, it’s inescapable.

Nico felt his face flush as Will continued. “I mean, it was bigger than his actual meal. That’s insane, and, honestly I don’t even know if that’s legal.”

Nico could feel his ears burning. “God, I’m sorry, he’s so embarrassing,” he said more to the box of oatmeal in his hands rather than Will.

“Sorry? I was going to say thank you!” Will stared at him in bewilderment. “No offense to my mom, obviously, but I don’t even think the food is that good. Like, there are better places-”

“Lets just not talk about it, okay?” Nico cut him off.

Will looked confused. “Uh, okay…. But I do have one other thing to say.”

Nico braced for impact. “What?”

“Now I see where all the ‘edginess’ came from,” Will teased, failing to hide the shit-eating grin that crossed his face.

“Oh, shut up!”

V. 

Nico was taking a much-needed, well-deserved, nice, long lunch break.

Will, however, was not.

Didn’t stop him.

The two sat at the counter. Once again it was a slow Saturday; only a few people sat scattered around the vicinity. After four long, agonizing hours, Nico decided to just suck it up and eat lunch already. (Even if it meant waiting ANOTHER three hours to go home. God, this shift was so long.)

Will, who had long since abandoned prepping coffee filters, rambled aimlessly next to him. Nico had stopped listening to him a while ago. Instead, he counted the freckles on Will’s face. Every time he lost count, he started over.

He felt weird, how much he wanted to be with Will. Like, they were coworkers. But they also saw each other at school. And they were friends? It was all too confusing.

He imagined kissing Will would be like eating a spoonful of sugar. Not saying he tasted like one (he probably did, honestly) but more in a metaphorical way. Amazing in the moment, but consequential later.

Part of him knew Will probably wanted to kiss him too. The way they talked to each other now, it was like they weren’t just coworkers, weren’t just schoolmates, weren’t just friends. And even though they barely knew each other, it felt like Will has been in his life forever, Hell, he wanted Will to be in his life forever, relationship or not.

Maybe that’s what he was afraid of. Losing Will.

“Y’know, have you ever thought about wearing something other than black jeans?” Will asked him, interrupting his thoughts.

Nico swallowed the fry he had been chewing.“What?”

“Like, I know you have the whole all-black ‘I’m emo’ thing going on, but have you ever considered, I dunno, blue jeans? Or khakis?”

Nico snorted. “Aren’t you supposed to be clearing tables.”

Will shrugged; he stole Nico’s Coke and took a sip. The smile he gave Nico melted his heart

***

“I heard somewhere that you aren't supposed to wear black with blue denim.”

Nico’s face flushed. “Shut up, Solace.”

“I mean it! Apparently, it makes you look like a bruise or something,” Will shrugged innocently from where he was filling his water cup.

Nico shoved the extra straws into the back pocket of his jeans. Blue jeans. “Don’t act like this wasn’t your doing,” he glared at Will.

Before he would turn away, he felt something slide out from his behind. When he turned around, Will had stolen one of the straws, which he had already plunged into his drink.

Nico could feel his entire face heat up. “You just killed a turtle,” he informed him, failing to let his voice stay level.

Will just shot him a wink; a light blush was already spilling across his freckled cheeks as he took a sip.

This boy was going to be the death of him.

+I

“This is exactly why I don’t tell people it’s my birthday.” Nico was going to kill Jason for telling Will.

“Technically it’s not your birthday yet. Now just take the gift.”

Will’s arm was still extended, holding out a tiny blue box. It was clearly already used for something, but Will just scribbled out whatever logo was there before and replaced it with “To: Nico” with a Sharpie-smiley face.

Nico huffed, snatching the box. He really did hate when people got him gifts. It was just more unnecessary money spent on him.

Underneath the lid was a simple pin; one of the ones that had noticed was on Will’s jean jacket when he had leant it to him. It was a simple skull surrounded by flowers.

“It was one of my favorites,” Will admitted. “But I think it’s more your style than it is mine.” Before Nico could thank him, he continued. “That actually wasn’t the gift I wanted to get you, though,” he said, immediately flushing.

Before Nico could speak, could move, could react in any way, Will was kissing him. It took him a minute to realize that Will had pulled him in by his shirt and was kissing him.

After that, he melted into it. His hands went up to Will’s hair, tangling his fingers deep into the blonde curls like he’s wanted to do for months. Will’s arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer until there was no space left between them.

Unfortunately, it ended as soon as it started. The door to the back room where they currently were residing was pulled open, and the two boys jumped apart as Naomi stepped in.

“Oh,” she said, glancing at both of their flushed faces. “I just came to get some milk, but I guess you two can bring it back for me.” Before she could close the door, she turned back around to face Nico. “Oh, and happy birthday Nico. I hope my son is treating you well.” She winked at him, and then she was gone.

Will, who had already made his way back over to Nico, started to giggle. “I’m gonna admit, I totally forgot we were at work.”

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[popatochisssp]

Drabble: 4 + HT!Sans

“Who gave you that black eye?” + HT!Sans

-

Sans was remembering.

He hated remembering. He was no good atit, not anymore.

His caved-in skull was like a sieve: bigstuff usually stuck, things that causeda real emotional response or felt important at the time, but everything else…

Lucky for him, the things he wasremembering right now fit the criteria to a t.

Sans had no trouble recalling what itfelt like to snap a neck like a twig. It was easy to call up the sensationof EXP flooding his soul, choking him with power he’d never wanted with everyunsuspecting life he snuffed out. The sticky slickness of human blood on hishands was a memory that was never, evergoing to leave him—sometimes, when he closed his eye-sockets, he could even stillsee it.

It made him sick.

These memories were things Sans would gladly lose to the void of his uselessskull if he could choose, but right now…

Right now, he needed them.

The man beside him at the bar wasnursing his drink. It was slow-going because he kept pausing to press itagainst his face, cool glass on hot, bruised flesh.

“hey,” Sans says, getting the guy’sattention. He blanches when he gets a good look at the skeleton talking to him,huge and scary with his head wound and his burning red eye-light, but Sans isused to that sort of reaction. It doesn’t stop him from asking, “who gave youthat black eye?”

The human still looks a little on edge,but he scoffs. “Just some dumb little tease,” he grumbles. “Don’t worry aboutit, man.”

“not worried,” Sans assures him. “prettysure i know the spitfire ya’ got it from, though.”

He drops your name and the human frowns.

“How the hell—”

“names sans. think ya’ might’ve heard ofme already.”

There’sthe fear, coming back around.

Sans knowsthis guy’s heard of him because he knows you:for reasons he can’t even begin to comprehend, you adore him; pursued him untilagainst his better judgment, he agreed to be yours.

It made you so happy, and Sans loved making people happy but especially you, his warm and kind and infinitelyforgiving human who talks about ‘my boyfriend, Sans,’ all the damn time like itwas actually something to be proud of.

This piece of garbage coworker of yours knows how very much taken you are…and hetried to drag you into the bathroom anyway.

“Listen, buddy,” the trash says shakily,hands already raised in surrender. “It…it was a work party, y’know, there’s…thingshappen at those, I wasn’t…I didn’t mean to…”

“i don’t care what you meant.”

Sans stands from the bar stool andwatches the terror on the human’s face spike.

He’s a pretty big guy—has beenever since the famine hit and monsters started eating meat soaked in the potentmagic of the human soul—and he takes full advantage of that growth spurt now,towering over this prick in the most intimidating way he can.

“i just stopped by to give ya’ a headsup. ya’ ever touch ‘em again…” Sans claps a hand on the man’s shoulder andsqueezes, feeling the grind of thin little human bones beneath his fingers. “i’llhave’ta pay ya’ another visit. ya’ know what that means?”

He mutely shakes his head ‘no’ and Sanslets his remaining pupil go dark, his eye-sockets pitch black above his rictusgrin.

“if i gotta come find you again, you’regonna have a  b a d  t i m e.”

Sans steps back, pretty sure he’s madehis point. The human hastily nods, sputtering terrified agreements and tossingmoney onto the bar before scurrying out as fast as his feet can carry him,his drink forgotten.

Sans can understand the haste: he’s got otherplaces to be, himself.

A quick shortcut and Sans is back homewhere you’re sitting safely on the couch right where he left you, rubbing idlyat your bruised wrist.

You smile when you see him and it liftsa weight off Sans’ soul. He may be goodat scaring people but that doesn’t mean he likesit, and you…

You’re never scared.

You love him, you’re happy when he’saround, you laugh at his jokes even when you’ve heard them all before, and that’ssomething so special that Sans would do just about anything to protect yoursmile.

Even if it means revisiting the worst years of his life.

“Sans!” you chirp, holding your arms outto him.

Well, he can’t refuse an invitation likethat.

He settles himself down on thecouch and into your arms. You can’t quite get them all the way around him andit’s so cute that he just has tonuzzle the top of your head, chuckling your name.

“Where’d you go?” you murmur, with yourcheek pressed against his sternum. “I missed you.”

“just…takin’ care of something.”

You frown, just a little. “Kevin?”

“shouldn’t bug ya’ again.” Sans cupsyour soft little face in his hands, pressing his teeth to your forehead. “justtell me if he does, okay?”

He worries for a second that you mightchastise him, but you don’t. All you say is, “Okay. I trust you,” and his soulthrobs in his rib-cage.

Of course you do—you know him, all the way down to hismarrow, and you know he’d rather dust than add another coat of blood to hishands.

…But a friendly little chat to make sureyou stay safe when he’s not with you?

That, he can still do.

And maybe a little something else, too.

“lemme see your arm, babe,” he murmurs,curling his hand around the finger-shaped bruises beneath your skin. “might beable to rustle up a little magic for ya’, if i get the green light from ya’.”

Your laugh is music to his lack of ears.Healing has never been his forte, but for you…?

Anything.

[thecosmiccuttlefish]

Totally Okay

April 12th 2017

8:57pm

Today was so good it was kind of unbelievable.

It was one of those days where I felt really happy. So happy I feel almost ethereal, and everyone else around me is less happy and therefore I feel... unhappy too? Or brought down? Or like my happiness is fake and built up and a wall or something? But that was only at the end. For the most part I felt that everyone’s happiness was right there with me. 

The good started when I obliged by my mum’s request and said I couldn’t babysit. As a result, I felt lighter and I explained to the babysitting guy why I couldn’t babysit. I said I suffered from mental health issues at the moment and needed to take some time for myself. He totally understood, and said that they loved me dearly and that was a bonus.

Then I went to deposit the check... OH SHOOT! I need to fix the deposit error. For the family, getting out of a few taxes by transferring funds.... that thing. I got up the courage to say as I was coming down the stairs: “I don’t like doing this!!!” My father said “I know, but we’re saving a lot of money by doing it!” Then he left with my brother.

Who is totally addicted to his iPad.

Then Mum took the check and put it in her jacket. I told her later as I was depositing it not to worry as I wasn’t going to go throw it out or anything like that... just because it feels morally questionable, but it settled.

Then we went to psychiatrist #1, we were early. I didn’t want to go to Starbucks or something (even though I was a smidge hungry) so I suggested mum and I go to the shops to buy some stuff for Easter. That was a good time. I bought a puzzle for Melody for her birthday.

After the meeting, which went well and was productive (save the fact that psychiatrist #1 received like three phone calls from people which she dealt with swiftly but I was like comoooonnn y’know?) I sat in the car when mum was trying to figure out where to meet this lady for work.

When she figured it out we drove and I admitted I was hungry. Usually my mum who is very pessimistic with her musings talked about how for some people, they just get tired of the eating disorder. They wake up and are like “That’s it.” I explained that I think I was feeling that tired.

Not tired physically or even severely drained emotionally, which is what I always thought people meant, but I’m tired because I’m bored of it. I know how it works. I know what it does, what it does for me, and ALSO I want to do with so much more with my life.

That being said.... when we pulled up to stop for a snack, I peered across the street and spotted one of those super trendy health food spots, and though my mum was protesting and wanted to go to a nice bakery I jogged across to it.

“Margo- no”

“No! Look! Can we just go in? I just want to look!”

“No!”

“Nonoo. No. It’s okay. I’m just going to look. Look! I bet the have rice krispie treats, or like a muffin! I’ll have a muffin.”

I saw smoothies. “There you go Margo.”

So we waited in line. For the first time, I was beginning to see these places through my mum’s eyes. There were a lot of skinny young girls there. My mum and I each picked up what the woman in front of us saying as she ordered. I noted how she was talking spin class, my mum noticed she was asking for no rice and extra beets.

“I mean...” I began “We can go to the coffee place if you want to.”

“...Do you want to?” Asked mum quizzically.

“I...I mean... maybe... ” doesthatsmoothiehavebokchoyinitholycrap “But that smoothie does look so good.”

While we were waiting for my Rejuvenation smoothie ($10) I looked around with mum. She held up a small package of cocoa thing. It had pictures of chili along with chocolate, and read “guilt free”

“Twenty dollars! For this?”

“I know... it’s kind of brain washing.”

“The good thing is,” Said mum, continuing with her positive musings “that since you’ve had an eating disorder you’ll be able to recognize what’s disordered and spot it from a mile of way.”

“Oh ya! Disordered behaviors.” I said, feeling a happy flutter in my chest that my decision to have a smoothie didn’t make her feel I wasn’t recovery focused.

It’s like this. I think that just as bad as McDonalds can be for your body if it’s all you eat, this super healthy “clean” food, can be just as bad for your mind if it’s all you eat.

As I gulped down my giant green smoothie, I said how I kind of wished I was still doing public speaking so I could write a persuasive speech on it.

“Well, you can write.” Said mum. I can write.

In the coffee sandwich shop where my mum had her meeting, the woman asked what I was doing, I told her that I went to withdraw from university because of mental health reasons #screwstigma

She said, something along the lines of “Oh. I’m sorry.”

I replied “It’s okay, It happens to a lot of people.”

“It does.”

Later. My mum asked “Marg, do you mind if I tell her?” 

“Go ahead-”

“She’s suffering from an eating disorder.”

okay. I didn’t know what I was expecting her to share. But that’s okay. They talked about ed culture and that for a while, and then when the lady left to get a drink or something and came back and said “I don’t want to take up too much of your time.” So I got up.

I walked around. I saw cute girls. I stood. But I didn’t exercise.

**I

After that we sped home, met up with Melody then went to get the Hostler heart monitor on. We walked around the hospital a little too much maybe. A little bit ED maybe? When I said “Maybe we can walk around to the main entrance.” and Melody said “Sure. Okay.” My heart sunk a little bit. Giving into the walking.

The very efficient lady who put it on was looking a little sad, but I made her smile. I complimented her eyes, and then when she told me when to bring it back I said: “Okay. So I don’t go sell it on eBay or something.”

THEN we went back home. Had lunch. Pizza. When I said I didn’t want to spend money at the hospital for food and we were walking back, Melody mentioned she saw some in the fridge.

Well my my my. So did I. I wanted to eat some, and guess what? I did! I had veggies, and pizza, and hummus, and started to eat some... Kimchi? From the Korean restaurant. But that kind of made me sad because it tasted the opposite of happy. So I composted it, and had some fancy cereal instead. That was pretty swell. I was still hungry, so I had yogurt and half a pear, and granola.

“Do you want anymore?” Asked Melody

“No...Um... Actually sure.”

Then, mum called, and she has to take antibiotics for post-surgery unfortunately, so Melody needed to take me downtown for the ED program intro session. We needed to leave soon, We went for a walk. I head a bit of chest tightness, so I wrote it down on my little thing where I write down symptoms.

The walk was a little more Ed.... okay, I went a bit longer that I should’ve and walked backwards up a hill. And carried Archie up a hill to compensate for not walking up backwards (This caused me to breath very heavily.)

Melody thought for sure we were going to be late and so did I, but heck! We made it! I walked with Melody for a bit downtown, and was kind of... ed-ish I ate my other half of pear which had the richness and consistency that reminded me of butter, but I avoided eating energy bar... when I pressed ahead and walked up the stairs instead of taking the  elevator. Why did I do that? I did squats in the bathroom. Why?

But I’m telling you! My mood and everything was so good today!

So here I was, in the ED intro session. It was me, a red-headed girl who I feel like I would get along with, an older woman who was also very skinny. Her mother maybe?

Another very skinny girl who was with her mother.

I felt like the healthiest one there. This made me... feel. Unqualified? But still... validated?

The Session was run by a calm and beautiful older woman named Belle and her assistant Briana. It was cool. My dad came in.

The recovery rates... aren’t great. Less than half make a full recovery. I can do it though. I know I can.

I enjoyed the charts on the power point the spectrum of eating disorder’s especially. How It starts with feeling overweight, then dieting, then restricting, purging, exercising, and it turns from disordered eating to an eating disorder.

There was also a specturm of care. Outpatient, inpatient, and finally tertiary. At that slide the red haired girl said she needed to use the washroom again. She’d been once in the waiting room.

I looked away.

I approached Belle afterwards, and asked... that it was common for people to feel they aren’t sick enough, but was it it common for people to feel like they need to be sicker? Like I feel I need to get to tertiary care to stop. To high-five that wall. It’s all lies of course, but... I don’t know. I just thought. She told me it’s false, and to think of what the ED has stolen from me.

The other things that stuck out to me were:

Belle saying many girls in young to mid twenties have osteoporosis. There was a twenty something with a cane who later died.

How in prevention programs they can’t even talk about behaviors because it plants the seed.

A woman relapsed because her bucket was “filling up” with stresses, and she didn’t empty it. And, how you need to be hyper vigilant. Even when recovered. Because the ED is always there below the surface, waiting for a chance to come up. So ya. Ya. I should probably eat that cupcake. At which point I said “Preach” and the red headed girl laughed a little.

My dad learned that feeling ambivalent towards recovery is very common. That made him feel hopeful I think. I saw him nodding, I was kind of shocked he hadn’t realized that before.

We walked around the neighborhood, maybe too much. ED?Ish? My chest felt tight again. But the rain had stopped, the blossoms were out and because of that I felt I could walk for ever.

We went home. I stood, dad placed pasta with meat sauce and freshly grated cheese in front of me. And milk.

There was a large part of me that was all: “No. I don’t want to eat this. I can’t eat this right now.” But I did. I did and it was totally okay.

And y’know what? I’m trying to be more aware of my surroundings and what recovery means and I think right now I’m totally okay.

It sucks it’s going to take a while to get into a program, but for now I’m getting there.

[kinkstuffig]

Ana Boys

*OC first person narrative. *

I sat in the dorm, waiting for everything to calm down. The world kept spinning. Maybe I was drunk but I can’t remember the last time I had a drink of alcohol. I didn’t feel well at all and that was before the voices started talking to me. I was used to them now but they still scared me. Not the fact that they were there but that the things they said were true. I always believed them even if everyone else told me that they (or I) was wrong. 

Parker came in then, a tall blond boy with green eyes and a terrible temper. We had become friends since I started going to the academy but I was still skittish around him. 

“Hi” I said, and waved tentatively. Parker came over to the bed I was sitting on and looked down at me. He was much taller than I was. 

“Why haven’t you come down to lunch yet?” he asked, a bit angrily. 

The voices told me why I shouldn’t but I came up with a better excuse. “I just don’t feel well,” I replied, wrapping my arms around my middle. Actually, I did feel kind of sick. Parker narrowed his eyes. 

“Are you avoiding us?” he nearly yelled. 

“W-What?” i stuttered. “W-why would you think that?” Tears were pricking the back of my eyes but only from nervousness. 

“You never come out with us anymore, you won’t eat anything with us, whenever we do go out, you hide behind someone or spend all your time in some store or bathroom. If that doesn’t sound like you avoiding us, then i don’t know what  does.You’re a terrible friend.” 

I felt the tears fall down my cheeks before I even registered that I was crying. Parker had already stormed off but I still whispered, “You’re right.”

After about thirty minutes, during which i nearly cried myself to sleep, i heard another of my friends come up the stairs. Quickly, i tried to sit up and wipe the tears off my face, but suddenly a spike of nausea ran up my throat. I covered my mouth and swallowed hard, trying not to be sick. 

At this point, Karina was standing outside the door, knocking, because she actually understood privacy. I stood up and walked toward the door, then stopped and doubled over, holding a hand to my mouth. Garbling something like “Come in,” i ran for the bathroom.

Karina entered and looked around her, surprised to find the room empty. Then she heard my retching from the bathroom and came running.

“Hon, are you ok?” she asked worriedly. 

I groaned, and vomited again, although not much was coming up. 

“Poor thing,” she murmured, and rubbed my back until i was done being sick. Looking into the toilet, she said, “I know this is awkward, but, babe, puke isn’t supposed to such a disturbing shade of red.”

I took a quick glance at the toilet’s contents before flushing them away. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry. I had some…” i searched for a red food. “Um.. tomatoes for lunch. I guess they were a little overripe.”

“Ok,” she sighed. “You really don’t eat enough. I can’t remember the last time i saw you with a slice of pizza.”

Although my mouth watered at the tempting image, the voices started yelling again. My stomach began to churn and i heard a loud gurgle emanating from my middle. “Let’s not talk about food,” i groaned quietly. 

She laughed a little and nodded, then started rubbing my belly.

“Hey, what are you doing?” i protested. She stopped and looked at me. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.” i looked down and blushed. “I’m just not really comfortable with… touching, y’know?”

“It’s fine,” she replied, though sounding a little disappointed. “Anyway, i nearly forgot the original reason i came up here.” I looked at her questioningly and she continued. “We sent Parker up to see if you wanted to come eat lunch with us. When he came back, he seemed really angry as he told us you weren’t coming. We asked why and he said, i quote, “He f***ing doesn’t feel good. The little b****.” Then he stormed off.”

Tears came into my eyes again as i remembered his previous words and paired them with these new ones. So it was official. He hated me. And Karina would probably hate me for puking in front of her. And now crying, as i had begun to sob quietly into my hands. 

“I’m sorry,” i whispered. 

“Don’t be sorry, hon. He’s just a jerk who needs to cool down a lot. He wasn’t really mad. He just misses spending time with you.”

That just made me cry harder. Which gave me the hiccups. Which made me start to puke again. Karina looked slightly grossed out by the scene in front of her. Apparently she was because she said, “If you need anything, call me. I’m going to go tell the gang where you are. I’ll come back in a bit. Feel better.”

I sobbed over the mess, noticing that there definitely was a large amount of blood in it. I wondered where it had come from, then remembered my sore middle. Sighing, i lay down with my cheek against the cold tile floor. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to be alive. It hurt to be me. I cried myself to sleep. 

I woke up in an unfamiliar bed, dressed in someone else’s pajamas, and strangely comfortable in my odd surroundings. Snuggling under the plaid comforter, I rolled over. And found myself face to neck with someone I would know anywhere. Jack, with his longish, shaggy hair, big brown eyes, and olive complexion. Immediately, I checked that I had pants on, which of course I did, but still. My sudden movement must have woken him up, because he rolled over and opened sleepy eyes. 

“Hey sunshine. It’s about time you got up.”

I felt my stomach constricting, just from his gaze. Me being in the same room with my senpai, for even two minutes, would give me butterflies. Now I was in his bed, wearing (presumably) his clothes, and he was talking to me. I was going to be sick and this was going to be mortifying. 

“Actually, I think i will get up,” I said quietly, and tried to. Unfortunately for me, the mere motion of sitting up made me so dizzy I fell back on the bed again. 

“Take it easy, Luc.” I nodded and tried to sit up again but he pushed me back down firmly. “The doctor said for you to stay in bed. Well, not the doctor, but Lizzy counts.”

“I have to pee,” I whined, blushing. 

“Oh,” he looked down. “Let me help you then.”

“Help me pee?” I nearly shrieked.

He was very red by now and so was I. “No, I mean, yes, I mean. You can barely stand up, much less walk to the bathroom across the hall on your own. Let me help.” He looked down at me and smiled crookedly. 

“Fine,” I grumbled, although I relished the idea of him carrying me. 

He pushed off the blankets and stood up, revealing a fine pair of batman boxers. “You like batman?” i asked.

“Everyone knows he’s the best,” the brunette said as he pulled the sheets back into place. 

“What about superman?” I challenged.

“Hah. That loser. Haven’t you seen the movie yet?” He gently piled pillows up until I was in a sitting position and then helped me maneuver my legs off the bed. 

“Nope. And don’t spoil it for me. I want it to be a surprise.” I stood up and nearly collapsed onto him. 

“I know who wins, and it starts with a B,” he teased as he supported nearly my full weight, which wasn’t that much. 

“Meanie,” I said, and punched him in the arm.

“You hit like a girl.”

“Maybe I am a girl.”

“Nope. Lizzy checked you out and said you’re male through and through.”

“Is that how I got into these pj’s, and by the way they are really nice.”

“Thank you, and yes. You didn’t think I’d change you myself, did you.”

I shivered, glad he hadn’t seen me. I’m hideous. We had reached the bathroom by now, and he stopped to open the door. “I can go by myself,” I protested as he came in with me. “Really, I’m a big boy now. Wait outside. I’ll call you if I need anything.”

“Ok. If you’re sure.” He looked down at me like i was his little brother, even pushing the hair out of my eyes. He walked out and shut the door behind him. I turned the lock and he said, “I heard that. Don’t you trust me?”

I don’t trust anyone, but I unlocked it anyway, just to make him happy. I did my business and as I was washing my hands, he called through the door, “What do you want for breakfast?”

Breakfast? He was probably expecting me to eat. Lizzy would have told him that I needed to if I was supposed to get better. All the nausea from the day before flooded back, setting my stomach to churning. 

When Jack didn’t hear a response he started listing things we could eat. “I have toaster waffles and bread for plain toast and bagels and cereal and I can make pancakes if you want and…”

I started heaving into the sink. I couldn’t help it. My stomach rebelled at even the thought of food. This was going to be a long day, I thought. 

The door opened and Jack rushed in. “Lucas.” That was all he said. Just my name. Because after he said my name, he saw what was in the sink. I didn’t need to look down. The expression on his face told me everything. 

“Lucas, you are going to a hospital and  you are going now,” he said and grabbed my arm. 

I couldn’t throw up again, I didn’t have anything left, but I still felt awful. And a hospital would only make it worse. “No.” I said, and tried to pull away. 

He didn’t let go. “Don’t fight me. Please.”

“I’m not going to a hospital.” I sat down on the floor, dragging him with me. I’d rather eat than go to a hospital. Too many people die there and I don’t want to be one of them. 

Just thinking about hospitals made me start to cry a little. “Come with me. Please,” Jack begged, giving me the puppy dog eyes that worked every time. 

“No,” I said again, and pulled away, curling up in a ball in the corner of the room. I must have been crying enough for him to notice, because he came over and wrapped his arms around me, rocking me back and forth. “Shhh,” he whispered into my hair. “What’s so bad about a doctor? They can make you better if you let them. You let Lizzy help you. What’s the difference between Lizzy and a real nurse.”

I sniffed. “Lizzy’s hands are warm and she doesn’t try to put n-n-needles in me.”

“Mmmhmm,” he murmured. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

He picked me up, then put me down again and looked at me, surprised. “You are really light, Lucas.”

I looked at him curiously. He must be joking. I weighed nearly a hundred pounds. I was way too fat for someone to be saying I was light. Especially with that worried look he was giving me. 

“Take your shirt off,” he said finally. 

“What?” I asked, apprehensively, covering myself with my arms. 

“I said take your shirt off, dammit. I’m not going to rape you or anything.” He was yelling at me. Why was he angry? Did I do something wrong again?

I pulled the top over my head but stayed curled up in a ball. 

“Now stand up.” He sounded annoyed. I definitely did something wrong. But what? Well, I puked in his sink, probably stained it red, also slept in his bed which contaminated it with whatever disease I had, he might have payed Lizzy to look at me. She usually didn’t work for free. Oh, and don’t forget, I got tears all over his pajama top. Yeah, that was probably it.

I hadn’t moved, so he reached down and pulled me to my feet, dragging me to a full length mirror along the wall. “Take a good look at yourself, Luc,” he said as he ran his hands over my abdomen. 

“Stop that,” I said while pushing his hands away. “I don’t like it. And i don’t want to.”

“Look.” He turned my head toward the mirror and wouldn’t let me look away. 

I saw a tall, thin boy looking back at me. He had bright red hair hanging over one side of his face with a white streak in it. His blue eyes were slightly sunken and red from crying. Dark circles sat under them and his skin was extremely pale. But as I looked lower down I saw hideousness, too horrible to describe. I was awful. I am awful. 

I started to cry again. “I hate it. I hate it,” I screamed to no one in particular. 

“What do you hate?” he asked, still not letting me turn my head. 

“I hate me. I’m terrible.”

“Why are you terrible?”

“I’m fat and ugly and everyone hates me and I want to die,” I sobbed. 

Jack sighed and let go. I collapsed backwards into his arms and just lay there, limply. “Lucas. I can see your bones. I can count all of your ribs. That isn’t healthy.”

“Did we not already establish that I’m sick?” i asked.

“Lizzy just thought you had a severe flu bug and that you hadn’t told anyone about it because you didn’t want someone to have to take care of you.”

If I actually had a flu bug, that’s probably what I would have done, but apparently I didn’t.

“So, what do I have if it’s not the flu?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I want a real doctor to look at you. Maybe he can make you feel better.”

I knew I could no longer pull the I feel fine card. Those days had long passed. I groaned into his shirt. “Fine. I”ll go to the Hospital but you have to come with me and hold my hand.��

He smiled down at me. “I couldn’t imagine leaving you there by yourself.”

Jack helped me put the top back on and then carried me into the car. The short drive to St. Mary’s Hospital was filled with the sound of Disney channel. I laughed as cartoon characters danced across the screen, making Jack’s serious face break into a grin. 

The lady at the desk told us to wait for a little bit, so we sat down in the waiting area. I curled up on Jack’s lap and he didn’t protest. “You know, you made Parker cry.”

“I did?” I asked, leaning into his shoulder. He was so soft and smooth, all over it seemed. “But Parker never cries.”

“He cried for you. When he realised that you were actually sick, he felt really bad for yelling at you. He thought that you just didn’t like being with us anymore and kind of felt left out. He really broke down, though, when Karina told him that you started throwing up again because you were crying about what he said. He hates to see you hurting.”

“I was sick because I’m sick, not because of him.”

“He knows. He just feels really bad. Be prepared for the best servant you will ever have to come visit you when you are better.”

“Servant?”

“If he feels like he’s wronged anyone, he’ll wait on them hand and foot until he feels like he has filled his debt.”

“Lucas?” A curly haired nurse beckoned to us. 

Jack picked me up and carried me as he followed the nurse. People started looking at us and I blushed. “Jack, they’re staring.”

“So? Let them stare. There’s no law about where your eyes can go in public. Besides, why do you care?”

I blushed harder and pressed my head into his shirt. “That’s what I thought,” he laughed. 

We entered a white room, super big and yet it made me claustrophobic at the same time. I didn’t realized I’d clenched his shirt in my fingers until he put me down on the bench and I had to let go. As soon as the physical contact left, I could feel my heartbeat speeding up, my lungs constricting, I couldn’t breathe. 

Jack noticed my odd behavior and quickly recognised them as signs of a panic attack. He got up on the bench with me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. “Hey, Luc, it’s ok. I’m right here. If it makes you feel better, I won’t let go.”

I shook my head and leaned back into his warm chest, breathing his scent in deeply. “Promise that you’ll never let me go.” I closed my eyes, not expecting him to respond, but then I felt him kiss the back of my neck. I could feel myself turning red all over. 

“I promise,” he whispered into my ear. 

Just then, the doctor entered. His old face crinkled into a smile as he saw us sitting on the bench together. “It just warms my heart to see young couples like you come here together. It’s nice to know that you have someone to depend on.”

We looked at each other and then back at him. “We’re not a couple,” we said in unison, then looked at each other again, confused.

The doctor laughed and winked. “Of course not. Now, which one of you is Lucas Ray.” I raised my hand and he said, “I understand you haven’t been feeling well lately.”

“No, sir.” I knew he was only trying to help me but still doctors made me nervous, even with Jack holding me. “I’ve been dizzy and being s-s-sick, and my stomach hurts.” I blushed and looked down, not wanting to continue. The doctor seemed to know there was something more, though, and he turned to Jack.

“Does your partner have any other symptoms?” He asked, kindly.

I could tell Jack himself was uncomfortable discussing me, but he was brave enough to do what he had to. “He has been complaining of stomach pain for several weeks, although I doubt it was real until two weeks ago. He is vomiting mainly blood and he has lost a lot of weight.”

The doctor nodded. “Lucas, do you think you could step on a scale for me?” I nodded and hopped down from the bench, getting goosebumps where Jack’s arms had been. The doctor indicated where I should stand and i stepped up, turning my head away so I wouldn’t have to see the awful number. 

“110 lbs.” The doctor said as he wrote it down in a notebook. (160 = healthy for 6 foot male) “May I check your temperature as well?” I nodded and he stuck the thermometer in my ear, then wrote down another number. He also checked my blood pressure and listened to my breathing. I saw him frown as he ran his hands over my back, but he didn’t say anything to me.  

Instead, he turned to Jack. “You say he’s been puking up blood? For how long?” 

“Well, he was sick in the sink this morning when I mentioned food and yesterday when a friend of ours made him upset. Those were the only two times I was present but their could have been more.”

I spoke up, slightly timidly. “Um, excuse me, but this is my doctor’s appointment and I can speak for myself here.”

The doctor turned to me. “How long has there been blood in your vomit?”

I blushed and looked down, shaking my head.

“That’s why,” said the doctor. “Unfortunately, in your suspected condition, you are not expected to be able to tell the truth. Not because you want to lie, but because you simply believe something that isn’t true.” He turned to Jack again. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to you outside for a minute.”

Jack turned to me. “Will you be alright alone in here? Five minutes, tops. I promise.”

I nodded and turned away but my heart was already starting race as they closed the door. What if I had something serious, like cancer? What if I was going to die? What if I never saw Jack again? What if I hyperventilated so much that I passed out on the bench, which is exactly what happened. 

I woke up to Jack standing over me whispering, “Lucas, I’m here. I’m here.” He was rubbing his face with his hands. They were really soft, his hands. Then I saw the doctor on the other side with a worried look on his face. 

“Excuse me son, but do you happen to suffer from anxiety?”

I just clutched at Jack’s hand, so he nodded for me. “Yes, sir. He nearly had a panic attack before you came in to check on him. It was because I put him down. I think he gets nervous when I leave.” i blushed but i didn’t let go. 

“Well, I’ll leave and see if it makes him more comfortable. Make sure you give him some water. There’s a sink in the corner. Call me when you think you’re ready for the prescription.” The doctor walked out.

Jack sat down on the bench and picked me up, setting me on his lap again and wrapping me up in a gentle bear hug. I had started shaking when the doctor said prescription. “Shh. Luc. It’s ok now. I’m here. I’ve got you,” he whispered into my hair.

“A-am I going to die?” I whimpered. 

“No. I won’t let that happen. Ever.” His arms tightened ever so slightly, reassuring me of his realness. 

“Then why does the doctor seem so angry with me? What’s my suspected condition?”

Jack sighed. “He’s not angry with you, just concerned. Drink some water and I’ll tell you what he thinks you have.”

“You’re a meanie,” I said, but I got a Dixie cup and filled it with water, then drank. The liquid felt odd going down my throat and it made my chest freeze but it was just water. I didn’t think water had any calories or at least not many. Then I climbed back into Jack’s lap, preparing myself for his news. 

Jack began. “The doctor says that you’re terribly underweight.” I cringed, thinking how that was just the opposite, but he continued. “Your temperature and blood pressure are both lower than is healthy and your breathing is shallow. You barely have any muscle. He thinks you’ve been vomiting much more than you’ve told anyone and it’s irritating the linings of your stomach and esophagus, which explains the blood.” He sighed and hugged me tight. It hurt a little but I didn’t mind. “Lucas, he thinks you have anorexia, along with a little overdose of anxiety and depression.”

Oh no. People with anorexia. I had heard about those people. They got put into a hospital and couldn’t see anyone until they were better. And being in the hospital this long was already making me feel worse. Or maybe it was just the talking about medical stuff. Either way, my head began to hurt and i started retching. Jack dragged me to nearby garbage bin but i had already made a watery pink mess on the floor. 

I started to cry for what seemed like the millionth time today. “I’m sorry,” i said as he wiped my mouth off with a paper towel. “I didn’t mean to be sick again. I just.. I just..” i was crying too hard to talk. 

Jack picked me up and started rocking me a little. “It’s ok, baby. I know it hurts.”

The doctor came back in and looked at the odd scene, putting the pieces together in his head. “I take it he didn’t take the news very well.”

“I don’t want to leave,” i wailed. “I want to stay with Jack. Or Jack to stay with me. Don’t make me go to a scary hospital forever. This was bad enough.”

Jack rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. It was soothing but i was still panicky, afraid he would let go and someone would try to drag me away.

The doctor said gently, “There is a way that we could treat you from home.” 

I looked up, my tearstained face full of hope.

“You need to start eating again. We have a special diet for patients like you. Start out slow with just a little to get your stomach used to food again. We’ll also give you some medicine for the pain and to try to heal the irritation but this process will take a while and you’ll need to live with someone who can make sure you are eating and force you too if necessary. If you still aren’t eating, then you will have to come to a hospital.”

Jack raised his hand. “I volunteer.”

I nearly grinned.

“Lucas can stay at your house then. I’ll have the pharmacy send you the first of those prescriptions. The instructions are on the package. I’ll have a sample of the vomit tested, just to make sure there isn’t something we’re missing. I’m confident the problem will be sorted out soon, though.”

“Thank you,” Jack said, shaking the doctor’s hand. He stood up to take me out but the doctor grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around.

“There’s just one more thing, i’m afraid. Lucas is dehydrated and if he can barely hold down water, we’ll need to put some food and vitamins into him before he starts his diet, in case he has some unexpected side effects.”

My eyes grew wide in fear. I knew what was coming but i asked anyway. “What do you mean, put into me?”

“We’ll need to insert them through an IV drip. It should only take an hour or two but it will mean you’ll have to stay here until around noon. Will that be inconvenient?” 

Jack shook his head and tightened his grip on me. He could feel me tensing up and he wasn’t sure if it was because i was going to run or scream. “No, that will be just fine. There’s only one problem. Luc here has a slightly extreme fear of N-E-E-D-L-E-S.” he spelled it to make me feel better but i wasn’t any less scared.

“I’m sorry, but there’s not much we can do about that. Do you think he will be alright if you sit with him the whole time?”

“Well?” Jack looked down at me. 

I gave my head a sharp nod and then buried it in his shirt. I didn’t want the doctor to see me cry about something as stupid as needles and i wasn’t going to be able to help it. 

“Good. Nurse Ellen will prep him in the room down the hall.” the doctor opened the door and pointed, then walked the opposite direction.

Jack lifted up my head. “Really, i need to know if you can do this. You can be hurt very badly if you try to rip the IV out of your arm before it’s time.”

“You promise to stay with me the whole time?”

“Promise.”

“You won’t even leave to use the bathroom?”

“I’ll pee in a garbage can if i have to. Just look away.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” i asked as he carried me down the hall. “I mean i know we’re friends and everything, but the others seemed like they got really annoyed by me alot.”

“I am very tolerant and i.. I like you. I don’t want to see you hurting yourself and i suspected something like this for a while. I didn’t say anything because i thought you’d be offended.” he said this all in a rush but i managed to make most of it out. 

“Wait, what was that part at the beginning? You.. like me?”

He looked down and blushed.

“What is there to like about this? You’re carrying me through a hospital hallway to a room where i’m about to scream for two hours while you watch and you just saw me throw up twice, one of which probably stained your sink.” 

“I think i’ve always liked you,” he said, turning redder. “I just never really admitted it to myself until now. I like taking care of people. What better way to get to know you than by taking care of you?”

“You don’t want to know me,” i said, miserably. “I don’t even want to know myself.”

“Don’t say that. You’re a wonderful person. Everybody has a few flaws. We wouldn’t be human without them.”

We reached the room and he set me down in a chair as we waited for the nurse. 

In my head i was thinking, i’m not human. But i didn’t say it to him. I didn’t want to ruin the moment. 

The nurse entered the room, carrying a tray. I tried not to look at the shiny, sharp things on the tray, but i couldn’t help myself. She smiled and i noticed her teeth were very white. And pointed. 

“Sugar, can you get up on this bed for me?” she purred. It sounded so ominous when she said it. 

I climbed up onto the bed, trying to get comfortable. Unfortunately, hospital beds are not the easiest things to get comfortable in and i was soon tangled in the sheet. 

“Here, honey. Let me help you.” She pulled the cloth from around my legs and her nails dug into my skin. They were very long. 

Jack sat down next to me, ready to help, but the nurse pushed him away. “Hon, this is my job and it’s harder when you’re in the way.” Jack started to protest but she continued. “Don’t worry about your boyfriend (she said this in a sarcastic way.) He’s a big boy and he can take care of himself, can’t you?” She turned her glaring face toward me. I didn’t answer but i scooted as far away from her as i could. Which wasn’t very far, as i was already backed up against the wall. 

Jack mouthed, “I’m sorry” as the nurse shoved him into a chair. I gave a weak smile but i barely convinced myself. 

The nurse turned back to me. “Are you ready hon?” She didn’t wait for an answer, but went directly to the procedure. She swabbed my arm with the alcohol. It stung. Her hair was in my face, long and blond, hanging around me. It was suffocating. I could feel it strangling me. It was….

She backed away and i was able to breathe again. Jack looked at me reassuringly. I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was too busy staring at the needle. Long and sharp, glinting in the light from the slightly flickering bulb on the ceiling. She held it up, like an assasin preparing to strike. I’m gonna die i’m gonna die i’m gonna die was the song on repeat in my head. 

Pain shot up my arm as she slid the needle smoothly into my flesh. I saw blood slide up into the tube at the end. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out. As she put the tape on, the edges of my vision began to blur. I couldn’t feel anything. 

I saw Jack out of the corner of my eye, but then the nurse’s face filled up the space. She pushed him out of the way again and got very close to me. Her suffocating hair, sharp teeth, evil glint in her eyes. She was a vampire! She was trying to murder me! I’m dying… was the last thought i had before completely blacking out. 

Jack’s POV

The weird nurse wouldn’t let me get close to Lucas. She kept pushing me away and looking at him hungrily. He looked so afraid, i just wanted to hold him, tell him i was there, let him know he was safe. Although, i wasn’t even sure i was safe with that creepy nurse. 

And then when she stuck that needle into him… He started screaming, like i’ve never heard anyone. I tried to go to him again, but she wouldn’t let me. She bent over him and i didn’t know what else to do. I pulled her off, but she fought back, slashing at me with surprisingly sharp nails, and she even bit me. I had to take her scarf and tie her to a chair with it before she stopped trying to claw my eyes out. 

A doctor came in, probably from all the noise we were making. When he saw the nurse on the floor, he came over and untied her. I was standing innocently in the corner, and with all of her swearing, the doctor barely noticed me. He seemed to think the nurse was injured and ended up half dragging her out of the room. I was left alone in the room with Lucas. Who was still screaming. 

The door didn’t have a lock on it so i shoved one of the chairs under the handle. It’s not that i didn’t trust anyone, i was just sort of paranoid that the scary nurse would come back. I couldn’t bear to see her hurting Lucas again. 

I turned back toward the bed where he was lying. His small pink mouth was open in eternal screaming. I saw his chest rise every time he took a breath but they were so short that i didn’t know how he hadn’t suffocated yet. 

I clambered onto the bed and looked at his arm. It didn’t seem as though anything was out of order but i didn’t want to hurt him more by taking it out. I looked at the bag that fluid was flowing out of into him. It was still three-fourths full. We would be here for a while. 

I lay down on the bed next to him, wrapping my arms around him like i did during his panic attack. I thought it might help him to calm down, to get out of his permanent state of shock. At first, i thought it was working. His breathing slowed down enough that he could take a few deep breaths. But after a few minutes, he began to scream again. 

I was really scared. What if something really was wrong? Although no one had come to see what was going on. Maybe screaming was a normal occurrence inside a hospital. Don’t think about that. That’s not a safe place to go. 

I smoothed Lucas’ hair back from his face. He wasn’t sweating, he was just laying there. Screaming. I wished i could talk to him, tell him he was ok, i’m here, nothing is going to happen to you. You’re safe. 

I tried rubbing his back, rubbing his hands (they were little icicles), rubbing his neck, nothing worked. He wouldn’t wake up. He just lay there, unmoving, except for the slight rise in his chest when he took another breath and his small lips opening and shutting. His eyes remained closed, long, dark lashes brushing his pale cheek. 

I couldn’t help it. I started to cry. Oddly enough, i was being quiet, trying not to wake him up, even though that was all i wanted. I buried my face in the side of his neck and whimpered, re soaking my shirt that he wore. I let my lips brush against his skin. It was still cold, like death. But i could feel his heart beating. 

“Please don’t leave me,” I whispered. “We just started getting to know each other. If you go i’ll be all alone again.”

I fell asleep next to him, still holding on, slightly crying. I dreamed, but it wasn’t pretty. And when Lucas eventually woke up, i was the one screaming. 

Lucas’ POV

My eyes hurt. My head hurts. I reach one hand up to rub my eyes. My arm hurts. The light in this room is flickering. It’s disorienting me. Where’s Jack? I want Jack.

Lazily i turn my head to the side. It hurts to move. I see his beautiful face laying next to mine on the pillow. Where are we? Why is he in bed with me… again? Not that i’m complaining or anything but… 

His face suddenly twists up and i hear him moan again. That’s what had woken me up. “Jack,” i call, but quietly. I touch his shoulder but he doesn’t react. His face is turning red. I think something is wrong. 

“Jack.” i shake him. “Jack, wake up.” 

He opens his eyes slowly, groggily. “Stop, don’t hurt me. Don’t let them hurt me!” He still mumbling about something from his dreamland, eyes searching the room wildly for some invisible foe. 

“Jack, it’s Lucas. You’re not with them anymore. You’re with me.” I didn’t know who he was talking about but it worried me to see that panicked look on his face. I’m not used to being the comforter. Only comforted, and that not very much. 

Jack, still half asleep, stands up and darts around the room, batting at shadows. “I won’t let them hurt you.”

“Jack, i’m not hurt,” i called from the bed. “I’m fine. No one is trying to get me and no one is trying to get you either.”

He turned to me, looking at me with a sort of scared, innocent expression. “Prove it. Come over here.” Though he sounded like a petulant five year old, it was still endearing to hear him say that he wanted me, even if he wasn’t aware that that was what he was saying. 

I pushed myself up into a sitting position, then swung my feet on the floor. Ok so far. Then i stood up. Bad idea. I swayed, feeling extremely dizzy. But i took one step and then another. He needed me and i would be there for him no matter what. Even if it killed me. I didn’t care. I guess that’s what it’s like when you’re in love. 

I think i’m finally admitting it now. Even as i collapse into his arms and he holds me upright, laughing into my hair but crying too. I know i love him. I know it now. Sigh. if only love didn’t make everything ten times harder.